


Roll The Dice

by not_rude_ginger



Series: Aimless Play Series [9]
Category: Norse Religion & Lore, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Female Character of Color, Gen, Kings & Queens, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki-centric, Male-Female Friendship, Marriage, Other, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Protective Steve Rogers, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Trauma Recovery, WOC-Sigyn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 08:46:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19742197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_rude_ginger/pseuds/not_rude_ginger
Summary: Sequel toNo More Shall We PlayThe Convergence is over, the Reset has done its work, and Odin is awake. Having spent nearly 7 years as king, Loki is more than ready to hand the kingship back. Of course, it would never be that simple. Instead, the Odin Family must find a way to work together, or Asgard will be left behind as the Nine Realms step into the future.Loki determination to be a good partner to Sigyn will bring his duties into conflict as he seeks to win her back. They may be planning a wedding, but they're still so far apart.And then there's Steve...





	1. Odin Awake

**Author's Note:**

> So I did not intend to take this long to get this part up but I've been going through a bunch of stuff, so I'm just happy I got to the 1st chapter. 
> 
> Takes place right after No More Shall We Play
> 
> Enjoy!

Loki and Sverrir arrived back to Asgard, Loki focused on seeing his sons and his mother, to know how they fared during the Reset the night before. However, something about Heimdall’s expression made him pause.

“What’s happened?” he asked.

“My king, you should go to My Lady the King’s Mother, she needs to speak with you,” said Heimdall, gesturing at Sleipnir who was already waiting for him, and another horse for Sverrir. The two of them shared a nervous look, then hurried to climb onto the horses. They galloped as fast as they could back to the palace, Loki already having visions of what could have happened. If the boys had gotten sick because of the Reset…

Frigga was waiting for him at the doors, wringing her hands. Still, she smiled when Loki rode Sleipnir up the stairs to stop at her side.

“Loki!” she hugged him tight, kissing his cheek, “Oh my brilliant boy, you did it!”

Loki, already panicking, could barely return her hug.

“Mother, what’s happened? Is it the boys?”

“No, no nothing like that.”

“Then what’s wrong?” asked Loki.

“Nothing’s wrong,” said Frigga, though her nervous expression belied her words.

“But Heimdall said you needed to speak to me.” Loki was ready to go back and smack the gatekeeper for making him panic.

“I do, I need to show you… just come with me,” said Frigga, pulling on his arm. Loki threw Sverrir an anxious look, then followed his mother towards the heart of the palace. He quickly realised where they were heading and his stomach leapt in fear and his heart started to race.

“Odin’s rooms? Has he… has he passed?” Loki couldn’t make himself say the word ‘died’.

“No! No, the opposite,” said Frigga, turning around and beaming up at him. “Loki, your father is awake!”

The words took a moment to sink in. When they did, Loki felt sick.

“Odin’s awake?” he repeated.

“Yes, and he’s asking for you,” said Frigga. She looked so happy that Loki was not sure what to do. Finally he took her hands and said,

“I will come soon, but I want to check on the boys first.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll tell your father… I’m sure he’ll want to meet the boys when you’re ready,” said Frigga. If she had not added that last part about it being Loki’s choice, he would have been much angrier.

“I won’t be long,” he said quickly, drawing away from her and trying to walk calmly out of her sight. When he was sure she could not hear his footsteps, he broke into a run. He did not stop until he got to his chambers, where he was relieved to find Hlin changing Fenrir.

“My king!” Hlin looked at him, her greeting becoming a yelp when she saw his state.

“Where is Jörmungandr?”

“He’s in his rooms, he wanted to dress well for your return –What’s the matter?”

Loki glanced at the shut door of Jörmungandr’s room, then instinctively scooped Fenrir up into his arms protectively. He felt almost dizzy, the need to run, run far away, was overwhelming him.

“Hlin, you need to leave,” he said.

“What?” came Hlin’s indignant reply, but Loki didn’t have time.

“Take the boys and get out of Asgard. Go to… go to Midgard, have Heimdall send you to Thor.” Loki held Fenrir close, inhaling the soft scent of the top of his head, closing his eyes to commit the scent to memory.

“But why?” asked Hlin, already packing Fenrir’s main bag.

“Odin is awake.”

“He has? But that’s–But why do the boys have to leave?”

“Hlin, please,” gasped Loki, “Please, I don’t have time to explain. Just please take my sons and get them out of Asgard until I say otherwise.”

Hlin stared at him, bewildered, but she nodded.

“All right, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you,” said Loki in relief. He pressed several kisses to the top of Fenrir’s head, feeling close to weeping at being parted from him like this. “I’m sure I’ll be after you soon.”

“What will I tell Jörmungandr?” asked Hlin, looking heartbroken for him.

“I’ll tell him he’s going to see his uncle, just ask Thor to take them somewhere fun for the day.”

Hlin nodded, gently taking Fenrir out of his arms, and Loki went to talk to his eldest.

~*~

Sverrir was waiting for Loki at the end of the corridor that led to Odin’s chamber. Loki was relieved to see him, a reminder that he was not alone. Sverrir looked him up and down, then sighed,

“So, he’s back.”

“Apparently,” said Loki.

“Did you send the boys away?” asked Sverrir. Loki gave him a startled look, and he shrugged, “It’s what I would do in your place. Odin’s the one who took them from you the first time.”

Loki nodded, looking at Gungnir, clenched in his hand,

“You know, I’ve wanted nothing more than to give up this position. And now that the moment has arrived…” He saw his own feelings reflected in Sverrir’s expression. “What if Odin undoes all the things we’ve achieved? What if he forces all the people I’ve given protection to to be without? What is he going to say about Tyr?”

Sverrir shrugged helplessly,

“I don’t know. The only thing you can probably do now is… get him to swear he won’t undo it?”

“He could lie. Odin’s a good liar, I should know.”

“Make him swear a binding oath, do whatever you have to! Loki, you have made too many lives better with your rule, please don’t let them down now.”

“Shut up, you’re not helping!” snapped Loki.

“Loki, you have been a good king,” said Sverrir, “Do not let Odin make you doubt that. Just because you did things differently to him, does not mean you have not done well. The people you have helped are people he ignored for centuries, so if he tries to force things, know that you will have an army at your side.”

The weight of Sverrir’s voice made Loki stare at him.

“You’re talking about Civil War, Sverrir.”

A giddy rush passed through him and a wild part of him wanted to see that happen. He wanted to see Odin’s face as he realised that his second son, his cuckoo child, had an army of loyal Aesir. Sverrir broke through his wild imaginings, saying,

“I’m talking about people being treated fairly regardless of status, gender, proclivity or ability! You have given them a taste of that, they won’t give it up now.” Sverrir glared at him, as if daring him to protest, but Loki had no intention of doing that. All his anger that he had been pushing aside to focus on his sons, his rule, his wife, was rushing back to him, and he was now spoiling for a fight just as much as he had been the night Odin had collapsed.

The old man had managed to get out of their last conversation, Loki would not allow him to do so again.

Odin had a lot to answer for.

~*~

“Breaking news! After the success of the so called Reset last night, the queen of Vanaheim has ordered the arrest of several thousand dökkálfar under the charge of committing war crimes. We now go to Mathéo Perrault in Canada who has been granted a live interview with Queen Sigyn. Mathéo, are you with us?”

“Yes Diane I’m here with Queen Sigyn of Vanaheim, who is granting us this very special interview to elaborate on the current situation on her world. Your majesty, thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for arranging this so promptly, I know it was extremely last minute.”

“So we’re getting reports that your people have either invaded or rounded up many people from… please forgive my pronunciation, ‘Svartle-heim’. Can you explain what’s going on?”

“It’s Svartalfheim, and yes I can. I sent a battalion of soldiers with authority of arrest for specific individuals, who have been rounded up and now await trial.”

“And why is this happening?”

“It’s quite simple, but allow me to give you some background information. During our negotiations with Earth, I and the other representatives of the realms maintained a unified appearance because, for that time, we were unified. The Convergence was a moment in time which provided an opportunity that was more important for all of us than historic or current divisions. So everyone put aside grievances, valid or otherwise, to ensure that the Reset would work, because we all stood to benefit from it.

“However, now that the Convergence is over, those grievances have reclaimed their prior priority. In this specific instance, Vanaheim desperately needed the Reset because Svartalfheim invaded and killed billions of us and damaged the land so badly we were on the brink of famine.”

“…”

“When you say invaded, can you elaborate? What did they want?”

“Their leader wanted an army, he thought he could get that through enslaving my people and when we proved more difficult to enslave than he expected, he set about bombing and burning our food supplies. This leader, called Malekith, was a ruthless bastard, and he believed he could subjugate my people by murdering my parents, destroying our system of government and raping me.”

“…”

“Let me explain.”

~*~

The room seemed dark and closed with anticipation. The bed was ridiculously large, and while the golden web of protection was gone, the sheets glimmered in the light. Odin was propped up, looking at Frigga who sat next to him as close as she could. They were holding hands and in the second before they looked at him, Loki saw the expression of devotion and love on their faces. It was like a knife in his ribs. They had what he had lost. They had always had what he had lost. Love, support and children.

Odin pushed himself into a more seated position, his eye fixed on Loki’s face. Loki approached, feeling sick with anxiety, but determined all the same.

“My son,” Odin sighed.

“Am I?” asked Loki in clipped tones. “Am I your son?”

“Loki…” Frigga admonished, but Odin took her hand again and gave it a squeeze.

“It’s all right Frigga. Let him speak.”

“I’m not the one who was asked a question!” snapped Loki. “Do not patronise me now after all the things you’ve done!”

Odin’s blue eye flashed with a familiar anger, but his voice was steady,

“You are my son, Loki.”

“How is that even possible?” Loki spat, “After what you did, taking my sons from me, forcing me to suppress the memories of what Angrboda did to me, lying to me about my real identity. If that is what you do to your son, I shudder to think what you would do to an enemy!”

Internally Loki was annoyed with himself. This was not what he wanted to discuss. He was past this, surely? He had people to protect!

Odin regarded Loki shrewdly, clearly taking his measure while Loki waited impatiently for an answer.

“I did those things because you are my son, Loki. Because I wanted to protect you-”

“You failed!” Loki barked, making Frigga jump. “You failed to protect me and then you compounded that failure by trying to conceal it. That’s what you always do, you try to cover up your mistakes as if they never happened.” Loki made a sharp tutting sound, turning away from Odin, “You are such a hypocrite Borson. You tell your sons to do one thing, while you do the other. You told us that kings face up to their actions, must be willing to admit their failings, but you are no more capable of doing that than you are at avoiding force when a situation does not go your way. You realise that every mess you have ever madehas come to roost while you have laid there, asleep, and I’ve had to deal with them?”

The room seemed to ring with the silence that followed. Loki was panting softly, wrung out by his rage, by his shouting. Frigga had her hands clasped to her mouth, it was hard to tell if she was crying or trying to hold back words she was desperate to say. Odin did not speak, he simply stared at Loki, sizing him up. Finally, he said,

“Yes, your mother has been telling me of the things you’ve been doing here in Asgard. And while I slept I could see parts of it.”

Loki’s grip on Gungnir tightened. He would not speak again until Odin had actually said something of worth.

“You’ve made a lot of changes around here, Loki. You’ve thrown away the council I built over my whole reign and built your own, with very different values to Asgard of old.”

Despite the fact that it sounded like a criticism, Loki felt a measure of pride with himself.

“Yes, I did. Because your values ensured that huge parts of this realm’s people were neglected or outright abused. You, who claim to be the Father of us all, once more playing favourites. What does it matter if boys with magic are kept in the cellar because their fathers think them an embarrassment? Odin gets to celebrate his long gone victories, repeating the same tired tales of how he smote one enemy, and crushed another. Who cares if a woman is being raped by her husband every night, when Odin gets to sit in his great golden hall, being worshipped for all the Jötun blood he spilled?”

At some point he had started shouting again.

“All my life I have wanted to be seen as Thor’s equal in your eyes, but that was never going to happen, was it? I was too unlike you to ever have worth in your mind. Too small, too weak, too broken, too Jötun.” Gungnir vibrated in his hand as his seiðr threatened to slip from his control. He had to inhale slowly to push it down, and with his exhale, his anger deflated to something darker and sadder.

“I never had a chance, did I? I was never going to be good enough for you. It wasn’t worth my time to try. I should have given up on you and claimed those to whom I owed that sort of dedication. My sons. My wife. My friends.” Loki shook his head, “You may be my king once again, but I don’t need you to be my father.”

A long silence followed this declaration. Frigga was trying to hold back her tears, clutching Odin’s hand in her two. Odin himself was impassive, blinking up at him. Finally he said,

“You’re right, Loki. You don’t need me anymore. That is my fault.”

Loki blinked in surprise, as Odin continued,

“When I fell into my sleep, you were still a boy in some ways, looking to me to make everything better. Just as you did when I found you in the woods on Vanaheim, holding a newborn pup. I failed you then, in the woods, and in the Vault. Now you stand before me, a man and a father, perhaps a better one than I ever could be.”

“Don’t try to manipulate me with false praise now!” Loki spat, feeling his cheeks flush pink. “The things you let happen in this realm… the things you let happen in this court! Gerd, you knew the kind of situation she was in, and you never once bothered to help her! You were the king, she was living as your subject. If you could leave her to suffer like that, right under your nose, why should I be surprised that you could never even acknowledge what was done to me?”

Odin made the tiniest motion -it was too small to be a flinch. Loki’s eyes stung, and he had to pause a moment to pull himself together. He would not cry. Odin was not worth crying over.

“You’re right,” said Odin. “I knew, and I did nothing. It was not my place, so I thought. A king should not pry into his subjects personal lives, that way tyranny lies I thought. I still believe it, but there are ways to protect those who are vulnerable. I did not see their suffering, so I did not think of it. I told myself that I had bigger things to focus on.”

Loki shook his head, feeling increasingly frustrated. Odin was not fighting back, he was just agreeing with Loki to convince him to hand over the kingship. Then he would go back on all the reforms Loki had enacted. Loki needed to make sure he did not do that.

“Loki… when I found you in that witch’s hut… it was the most horrific thing I had ever seen. My little boy, naked, wild-eyed and almost raving, blood dripping from his mouth and down his front, gabbling incoherently and staggering between a dead woman, a howling babe in a crib, and a mute, terrified boy. It was worse than any nightmare I dreamt while you were missing. It was all I could do to gather you and your children up and take you home.”

“Where you sent my son away,” said Loki hoarsely. “And then you ripped my other son, newly born, from my arms.”

“Loki you were half mad from what had happened to you. Your eldest had retreated into his serpent form and nothing I did would convince him to change back.”

“You didn’t try!” Loki hissed.

“I did, I spent days with him, hoping he would come back as a boy, while Eir was caring for you. I thought if I could get him to become Aesir again, it would snap you back to your senses. But he wouldn’t. He had curled into his mind and refused to come out. I knew from what you had done for them how much you loved your children. I had to send Hela to her realm, it was the only way to help her. As for Jörmungandr, I knew you would never stop trying to convince him to change back, and I knew he never would-” 

“You liar!” Loki’s voice boomed around the room, and he could feel his seiðr tingling through him. If Odin kept talking like that, kept pretending that he had done anything to help Loki, Loki would not be able to control himself.

“It’s true Loki,” said Frigga, “While I tended to you with Eir, your father tried to bring Jörmungandr out of his stupor, but there did not seem to be anything we could do.”

“You didn’t try hard enough!”

Frigga opened her mouth, but Odin gave her hands a light shake, and she closed it again.

“We cannot change the past,” said Odin softly.

“No, but I can remember,” said Loki, his voice little more than a growl. A long silence fell over them, the two men looking straight at each other, eyes unblinking. Finally, Odin said,

“You sent the boys away.”

“I felt it prudent,” replied Loki. Frigga started, looking appalled,

“Loki, you can’t still think-”

“I don’t know what to think of this man,” Loki cut across her. “This king who neglects so many of his most vulnerable people, who sent my sons, his supposed grandsons, away. Who covered up his own genetic lack of seiðr by letting his warriors sneer and put down magic users to the point that fathers lock their sons in cellars if they show any bit of it! What sort of king are you, Borsson?”

“The kind who wanted what was best for Asgard!” Odin barked, “The kind who worked to make it better than as my father left it, and who hoped my son would continue that work. My father left behind an Asgard that bayed for blood at the slightest provocation, I had to bring them into line! So I built a foundation of honourable conduct, to get the warriors to stop killing whoever they wanted.”

“How noble! So you are pleased with the system of oppression you brought into Asgard.”

“Better that than having to hear weeping mothers and wives every day because their sons and husbands got into fatal fights with each other!”

“So instead of letting them all kill each other, you redirected their oafish aggression onto the people around them!”

“Stop!” Frigga cried, getting to her feet. “You two have to stop! All you are doing is driving a deeper wedge between you.”

“Are we? Or are we finally saying what needs to be said?” demanded Loki, “Mother why do you want us to pretend that things are well when they are not? I have spent my whole life living that way, not confronting you both because you wanted to pretend that nothing is wrong. Pretending that I wasn’t raped doesn’t make it so! Pretending I had no children doesn’t make it so! All you did was make me ashamed of my own pain, made my insides twist and writhe until I was physically sick with it.” Loki dragged a hand over his face, “If I had not had Sigyn to talk to… you probably wouldn’t have a son to fight with right now!”

Both Frigga and Odin stared at him as if they had never seen him before. Maybe they’d never seen him as he was. Too focused on protecting themselves, protecting him from finding out the truth of himself, something that, compared to the pain of Angrboda, was almost meaningless. Who was he really? The son of Laufey and Bergdís, the product of a lovesick man and a greedy woman, who had had no hand in raising him, or the son of Frigga and Odin, not blood but raised by them and their worldview?

Or was he neither? Was he just… Loki? Scarred and damaged by all four, but not defined by them. 

“Loki,” said Odin quietly. “If that is true, then I am grateful that she was there for you.”

“It should have been you!” Loki hissed.

“Yes, it should have,” Odin agreed. Once more he was agreeing too easily. Loki lifted his chin contemptuously,

“I suppose you want your kingship returned. Know this Odin, there will be a price.”

Odin’s eyebrow twitched as Frigga sighed.

“And that is?” asked Odin, not giving any emotion away.

“You will not undo my reforms. You will ensure that all whom I have given rights and protections to will retain them and will never fear losing them. They are to stay safe, and you will continue to offer them all the opportunities that until now you have kept for your chosen few.”

“Is that all?”

“No. My next demand is that you will not make any attempt to take advantage of Vanaheim or Svartalfheim’s current weakness. You will not make war on them, and you will not try to bully them into submission and servitude. I care nothing for Svartalfheim myself, but I have worked hard with the other realms to form a peace that might actually last, and I will not let you and your ways undermine that.”

“What more?”

“My marriage, should I chose to have one, is my prerogative and will be done on my terms. My choice of wife, the date of marriage, the politics of the union, all of this will be left to my discretion.”

Odin nodded,

“Very well. Is there anything else?”

Loki considered for a moment,

“Thor. You will lift his banishment and restore him to the line of succession.”

“He would have anyway,” said Frigga with confidence.

“I will,” said Odin when Loki did not blink.

“You give me your word? As a man, a king, and a warrior?”

“I give you my word,” said Odin. Loki swallowed, surprised that he felt some reluctance to hand it over. Ever since he had become king he had wanted to be free of it. Or at least… most of the time. Sometimes he had enjoyed his power, such as when he had founded the Seiðr Academy, had decreed marital rape a crime, had thrown festivals for the things that mattered to him. Answering to no one had been fun when it had not been exhausting. Was he really ready to once more be answerable to someone? Was he really ready to subject himself to Odin’s will?

Loki raised Gungnir and held it parallel to the floor, looking down at the white wood, covered in runes. His stomach was a ball of knots, but he knew he needed to hand it over. He had done what needed to be done. He had protected those who needed him. He could go back to being a prince, still one of the most powerful positions in the Nine Realms, and be a more attentive father, a more hands-on partner to Sigyn. He would be able to spend more time with his sons, and with his wife.

He would no longer be king, but he would be free in a way he had taken for granted before. He swallowed hard and held out Gungnir to Odin.

“Here. Your kingdom awaits.”

Odin pushed himself up to a more seated position and fixed his gaze on Loki once more.

“No Loki. Your kingdom awaits.”


	2. Returning Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the lovely reactions to this new part of the series. I hope you all enjoy it.

Loki stared at Odin, who stared back unblinking. He became aware that his hands were shaking around Gungnir.

“… What?” he gasped out. All the air left his lungs.

“I do not wish to take the kingdom back. Asgard is yours now,” said Odin, as simply as if he had told Loki to take his cup of wine.

“Do not jest so!” Loki snarled, thrusting Gungnir out at him. “Take your staff!”

“No,” said Odin.

“Why not!?”

“Because it is time for me to step aside. I rushed it with your brother, I could feel the Sleep coming on me, I needed someone to take my place and that has not changed. I am an old man Loki. It is time for the next generation to come into their own.”

“But… you can’t seriously expect me to do it?”

“Why not? You may have started out on uneven ground, yet look at you now. You stand as a king of your own making. Someone must take the reins of Asgard, and you have already shown you can lead it.”

“But what about Thor? He is your eldest, your son by blood! He should be the one-”

“Perhaps once, but Thor has spent the time I slept away from Asgard, and he has no experience. You have the experience now. As to my blood, you are my son in every other way, and in the days of old, when a king named his successor, the man may not be of his blood, if there was someone better to succeed him. You carry my name, that is enough. Besides, your bloodline can carry magic, and that is likely going to become increasingly important in the days to come.” Odin shook his head, “No Loki, you are King of Asgard, and I will simply sign the papers to declare my resignation of the throne.”

“But you can’t!” Loki burst out, “I don’t want it! I never wanted it!”

“You gained it through your own foolishness!” Odin barked, “I heard you when you admitted you let the frost giants into Asgard, it was you who started all of this!”

“Loki!” cried Frigga in horror. Loki ignored her.

“It was only meant to make you see Thor was not ready.”

“And it succeeded. Now you are king,” said Odin.

“But this is not what I want!”

“You are a Royal Child. Whether you were raised here or on Jötunheim, or married into Vanaheim you were always going to be king somewhere.”

“I won’t do it,” said Loki wildly, “I won’t! I only stayed here because there was a promise of an end, a promise that someone else would do this -I can’t do it anymore!” He threw Gungnir down on the bed and took several steps back. Sweat was breaking out all over his body, and he thought he might be sick.

“Take up the staff Loki,” said Odin.

“No! I won’t. I can’t! Please…” Loki’s chin started to shake, and he shook his head desperately. “I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it.”

“I know,” said Odin, his voice oddly soft, “But my decision is made. You are Asgard’s King.”

Loki’s mind started throwing up ways to get out of this. He could run away, he could reveal his Jötun heritage, he could set the palace on fire, or admit to treason, something, anything, that would get him out of this situation.

“You can’t force me to be king!”

“No more than you can force me to,” said Odin. Loki glared at him.

“What about Thor?” asked Frigga quietly. They both looked at her, “Odin, if you wish to step down, then you have another son who might take the throne.”

“Thor is untrained,” said Odin, “He brought us to the brink of war, and has been away for five years while Loki has been here, ruling. Which do you think the people will prefer?”

“I’d say it would be fifty-fifty these days,” muttered Loki, folding his arms across his chest.

“The people need stability. If Loki steps down for Thor, there will be confusion, and fear. Fear that Loki has abandoned them in favour of his own pursuits, and leaving them with a man who put his pride above the people’s welfare,” said Odin irritably. “Someone must take the throne.”

“Why can’t Mother?” demanded Loki, “Surely she would inspire loyalty, reassurance. Everyone loves her.”

“They love your mother as my wife, not as a queen ruling in her name. I know you’ve brought women to greater heights, but the people are not ready-”

“You know!” said Loki loudly, talking over him. “You seem to think you know about what the people feel and want, and yet I’m pretty sure that my reign has shown that you don’t know a damn thing about their wants and needs.”

“Enough!” said Frigga. “Neither of you is getting anywhere like this.”

The Queen stood up and looked from her son to her husband and back.

“We will not make this decision until this family is whole. Odin, give me the spell to make Thor one of us again. I am going to bring him home!”

**~*~**

Sigyn rolled the small bottle in her hand, pondering whether to open it. It had been a long day, ensuring that the other realms were informed appropriately about the mass arrest of War Criminals, and that Vanaheim was only doing the just thing, not launching an invasion. Now, finally back home, in her small bedroom, Sigyn wanted to forget. Just for a little while.

She had had no alcohol since before the Invasion. There had been none to have, and she had been so afraid of letting her guard down.

It was hardly likely to do her much good, it was Midgardian spirits, but maybe… for a time…

The soft snap of the light metal keeping the top connected to the ring around the neck was loud in the room. Sigyn licked her lips nervously, bringing the bottle to touch them.

_Don’t…_

A voice in her mind made her pause.

_Don’t do it. Not now._

The voice somehow sounded like Loki, her parents, and Rasil all at once. She shuddered and lowered the bottle. The voice went quiet.

Sigyn closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. Things were good, she told herself. Plants were growing already, the convergence had worked. Next year she would hopefully be able to guarantee every subject a full belly for a while. Her world would be green again. They would be able to use the vaults, long built underground, to clone new seeds and animals. Every living thing that had been discovered on this planet had had their genes saved. It had been Sigyn’s grandfather’s passion in his later life.

Sigyn had achieved everything she set out to do.

The Convergence had reinvigorated the planet, she had spurred the other realms to work together in a way they never had before, all the criminals she could find had been arrested.

So why did she feel so empty?

Last night she had broken through her fears and had sex with Loki. Possibly a foolish move in terms of keeping their relationship boundaries clear, but she had been high on success and seiðr. Being back in Loki’s arms had felt… wonderful. Everything had melted away for a moment, and she had felt safe and loved.

Despite all her efforts to make herself stern as steel, she missed feeling that way. It would probably always be a part of her. So what she needed to do was find a way to minimise Loki’s ability to affect her. Just because they were unofficially engaged now, with Loki accepting her government’s decision, that did not mean Sigyn was about to go back to how things had been.

What Loki did not understand was that they had been bad for each other just as much as they had been good. They had retreated from everything out of selfishness and fear. Now they were both ruling they had to put their people first, and it would be far too easy for them to slip into old habits.

It was exhausting trying to get Loki to understand this. He was stubbornly insisting that they could be what they were and still be good rulers. It was a fantasy. They had to change and learn to give the outside world as much attention as they had given their inner world.

If Sigyn could trust that they could find that balance, maybe she could give him more of what he wanted.

Maybe.

Closing her eyes, Sigyn drew in a shaky breath, and decided to attend to her people. Without her Svana she could go and do what she wanted without fear of them.

The instant she thought that Sigyn burst into tears.

**~*~**

Steve was just unlocking the door to his apartment when Natasha came down the stairs behind him.

“Hey stranger.”

Steve looked at her over his shoulder,

“Do I even wanna know why you’re coming down instead of up?”

She quirked one eyebrow slightly and said nothing, but she held up a bag that smelled of amazing Chinese. Steve rolled his eyes in amusement,

“OK, coming in?”

As soon as she was inside, Natasha made a beeline for the kitchen, and started dishing out the food. She had gotten his favourites. Steve removed his shoes at the door before following. Ever since he had bought this apartment he had wanted to keep the white carpet as clean as possible. Somehow Natasha never tracked in dirt.

“So, the kings and queens have gone home,” she said.

“Yeah,” said Steve.

“I heard about the Vanaheim queen’s arresting war criminals.”

“Yeah,” he said again.

“You were there when she arrested the Svartalfheim ambassador.”

“Yeah.”

Natasha looked at him wryly,

“Nothing else to add?”

“I don’t really know what to add,” said Steve honestly, “I was just an observer.”

“Still, what do you think? Do you think she’s in the right?”

“If what these people are being accused of is true, then yes.”

“But aren’t you just taking her at her word?” Natasha handed Steve his plate, sounding more curious than suspicious.

“I don’t think so. The other planets agreed with her, and she’s told me about the invasion. It’s the whole reason she convinced the other planets to reach out to us. The whole reason for the Reset. What did you think of it by the way?”

If Natasha objected to the change in subject, she gave no sign,

“Beautiful.”

“Yeah, it was, wasn’t it?” Steve sighed wistfully, propped his chin in one hand and smiling as he remembered the beautiful colours that had filled the sky. He caught Natasha watching him. “What?”

“Be careful Steve.”

“About what?”

“Queen Sigyn. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m not a child Natasha.”

“No, but Sigyn’s attracted to you, and in the end that probably won’t go anywhere.”

“Who says I want it to?”

“You do, when you talk about her. It’s not love yet, and maybe it’ll never be physical, but she’s going to outlive you, and she’s going to put a lot of things before you.”

“As she should, she’s a leader.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find that admirable and hard at the same time.”

Steve set down his fork. “Natasha, I’m not in love with Sigyn.” 

Natasha sighed,

“I know you’re not, now. But she’s a damaged woman Steve, it’s obvious if you know what to look for. I don’t want her to use you as an emotional prop, when you probably won’t ever be able to have a normal, equal relationship.”

Steve sighed, knowing she had a point.

“I appreciate your concern Natasha, honestly I do. But I’m fine. It’s way too early to know what’s going to happen in the future. I like her, I like her company, but that’s all it is right now.”

Natasha openly scrutinised his face for a moment, then nodded,

“OK Steve.”

And that was the end of that.


	3. Anti-climax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but only because I had to split this chapter in 2 because Loki and Odin would not stop arguing.

Thor was making dinner when the Bifrost dropped Frigga on his balcony.

“Mother!” He dropped his knife and ran out to hug her.

“Thor, my boy,” said Frigga, squeezing him so hard he half expected something to break.

“What’s happened? Hlin just turned up with the boys and said Loki wanted me to look after them.”

Frigga’s smile dimmed, and she looked over Thor’s shoulder into the kitchen where Hlin was sitting with Jörmungandr at the table. Jörmungandr was colouring, with a faint frown on his face.

“How are they?” asked Frigga.

“Fine,” said Thor, “Though I think Jör knows something is not right.”

“He’s just like Loki, always suspicious,” said Frigga with a slightly sad smile.

“So what’s happened mother?” Thor prompted. Frigga looked at him and squeezed his hands.

“Your father is awake.”

Thor’s stomach swooped, and he thought he might vomit, but it quickly passed and he was left feeling exhilarated.

“He’s awake? That’s wonderful, mother, how is he?”

“He’s weak, he slept for so long he will need some time to recover.”

“Which will give Loki time to hand over the crown properly. He must be relieved, I know he doesn’t want the throne.”

Frigga swallowed, squeezing Thor’s hands again,

“Thor… your father wants Loki to remain king.”

It felt like the bottom of the world had disappeared beneath his feet. 

“He… he wants to make Loki his heir?” Looking at Frigga's face, Thor tried to hide his reaction, quietly asking “C-can I… can I at least come home?”

Frigga cupped his face and kissed his brow.

“Oh my darling, you have not been forsaken. I’m here to bring you home, now.”

“Now?”

He was going home? Father wanted Loki to remain as king? It was like he was getting all he had longed for, but twisted and bitter tasting. He was not going back as the heir to the throne, with Asgard ruled by Odin. Instead, Loki would be king. What would Thor do in that world?

“I… I need to gather Sif and the others-”

“They will not be coming with us,” said Frigga curtly, “They are still banished for their abandonment of Asgard.”

“They came here for me! I cannot abandon them,” said Thor, hearing an edge in his own voice. Frigga’s lips tightened, and she said,

“That will be up to the king, whoever he may be.”

“I thought you said Loki is to remain-”

“Loki does not want it, and your father will not take it back. It’s time this family actually talked about this and come to some agreement.”

“I think you ask much from the two of them,” Thor muttered.

“That is why you must come home now, so we can get this sorted. Not just for Asgard’s sake, but for your brother and father’s. And for yours.” Frigga held out a small orb. “Take this. It will make you ask you were before. Then let us go home.”

For a moment Thor did not want to take it. As much as he wanted to come home, he had never imagined it would be so… uneventfully. He had expected it to be rather grand and triumphant. To just slink back into his old home with no ceremony seemed rather embarrassing.

Thor knew he had grown up much in the last few years, but in that moment he realised that there was still a part of him that wanted the dramatics, the actions worthy of legend. Would he really let that part of him hold him back from returning home?

Giving himself a sharp shake, Thor reached out and took the orb. As soon as his fingers engulfed it, the surface cracked and electricity shot through every nerve in his body. His vision went white, and he stumbled back into the wall, feeling the power surge through him, filling every bit of his body, even to the tips of his hair. He slumped against the wall as his vision returned to normal, panting hard and gripping the metal rail of the balcony. It buckled under his grip and Thor snatched his hand back, staring at the dented rail.

He had forgotten his own strength.

“Amma?”

Thor turned at Jörmungandr’s call, finding him watching the pair with open suspicion. He really did look like his father with that expression.

“Come here my boy,” said Frigga, crouching down and holding out her arms. “We’re going home.”

Jörmungandr took a step forward, but Hlin appeared behind him and stayed him with a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry My Lady the King’s Mother, but I cannot allow you to bring the boys home.”

Thor’s eyebrows jumped to his hairline. He vaguely recalled Hlin as meek and silent. Since when did she talk back to anyone, let alone Queen Frigga?

“Why not?” asked Frigga, straightening up and looking rather miffed.

“King Loki asked that they stay here until he calls us back. Unless you have express confirmation from King Loki that the boys are to go with you, I must obey my king’s command.”

Thor looked between the two women, finding Frigga’s expression rather funny. His mother looked exasperated beyond all reason.

“That boy…” she muttered, before saying louder, “Very well Hlin. I will not press you to disobey your king.”

“I want to go home!” said Jörmungandr, glaring at them all. “Why are we staying here?”

“Because your father believes you to be safer here for the moment,” said Hlin. “Whatever his reasons, he wants you and Fenrir safe.”

The implication that Loki thought Odin being awake was a danger to his sons was both upsetting and completely understandable to Thor. It hurt to think that Loki’s faith in their parents was so damaged, but knowing what he knew now…

“It won’t be long Jör,” he said cheerfully. “Hlin, there’s an ice cream store a block east from here. Take the boys there, I’ll get you some money.”

When the boys were dispatched, Frigga took Thor’s hand and called for Heimdall.

The Bifrost trip felt different to how he remembered it. It was less teeth-shockingly intense, more like he was being drawn through flowing water. The light show was still the same.

“Welcome home my prince.”

Hearing the familiar phrase gave Thor a moment of disorientation that had nothing to do with the Bifrost. He looked around and started to smile at the sight of Heimdall, only to freeze as he saw the ugly scars on the handsome face.

“Heimdall! You-” he just about held himself back from exclaiming about it and managed to switch it to, “You are a sight for sore eyes.”

Heimdall arched his remaining eyebrow, the same side of his lip quirking up. Thor flushed with shame, knowing Heimdall knew what he had been about to say.

“It is good to see you too my prince. Your horses await.”

Frigga’s hand was steadying as she guided him through the unfamiliar observatory that he barely got a chance to look at before he was faced with the capital he had grown up in. Only to freeze again.

“What happened?” he asked in shock.

The floating observatory was gone. The mountain behind the palace was half the size it had been. The range of gold shades had been changed to a broader spectrum of colours, reflected in the strange shimmer and glimmer of the Bifrost.

“The capital took a lot of damage when the Bifrost was destroyed during Tyr’s rebellion,” said Frigga softly. “Loki rebuilt it.”

“He rebuilt it in his own image,” Thor said before he could stop himself. It felt like a low blow somehow, to see that Loki had not only taken the throne Thor had been born to, but had changed the eternal city in the few years Thor had been gone.

“He rebuilt it to reflect the reality of this realm,” said Frigga gently. “There is more than one way to be an Asgardian, and now the capital reflects that. You can’t expect that Loki would have just rebuilt like nothing had happened. He’s braver than that.”

Thor swallowed down his bitterness. He knew his mother was right. He knew it would have been ridiculous to expect Loki, who always did things his way, to keep the capital as it had been before. He knew if it had been his decision, he probably would have made changes himself. It was just… a reminder of what he had missed.

“Asgard could not be frozen in time while you were gone Thor.” Frigga’s voice was still gentle, but there was that edge of firmness that reminded Thor why she was the queen. Or had been the queen.

“I know. It’s just… this is going to be harder than I hoped.”

“Yes, but you can do it, because you are you. You thrive wherever you are.”

Frigga’s kiss on his cheek made him feel a little more settled. He swallowed and went to the horses waiting for them. At least mounting a horse was the same.

“I’m going to cloak us in a spell, so the public will not recognise us. It’s best if they don’t know you're back just yet.” Frigga gave him a bracing smile, and he was honestly grateful for the anonymity.

It was easier to just focus on putting one foot in front of the other through the palace, not really pausing to look around the palace he had grown up in. First, he would deal with his brother and father. Then he would try to find his place here again.

Whatever that place ended up being.


	4. An Awkward Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn Loki and Odin kept trying to flee the room every time I tried to nudge the conversation along -hence why this took so long.

When Frigga walked out of the room with the orb in hand to bring Thor back, Loki realised that he and Odin were all alone. His hands curled into fists at his side, and he sat down on the bed with his back to Odin. He was determined to say nothing further until Frigga and Thor returned. Partly it was to keep things relatively civil. Odin might talk of retiring and whatever else, but he was still Odin Allfather and Loki knew better than to underestimate him.

The other reason was because he was terrified of what might be said.

Frigga was a buffer, her presence reminded Loki to keep himself in check to some degree. Without her there, he was sure things would deteriorate very quickly.

Odin shifted on the bed, then sighed deeply and Loki sense him edging away. He looked back to see Odin climb out of the huge bed, bum shuffling to the edge and getting to his feet. He wobbled slightly and Loki was half-way to deciding to steady him, but he found his balance and stretched with audible cracks and pops. How stiff he must be after so long asleep.

Loki’s tongue was desperate to let loose, there were so many things he wanted to to say. Too many were inarticulate balls of emotion in his chest that he did not know what to do with. So he turned away again and glared at the other wall.

Among all the other reasons to be angry, one that was overall petty was that he should have been relaxing today, and musing on the triumphs that had happened last night. The Reset had worked. It had restored the Nine to better health and -oh!

“The Reset woke you up!” he blurted before he could stop himself. “That’s why it happened now.”

He did not turn around to look at Odin, feeling embarrassed at breaking his dignified silence, but he heard his bare feet still somewhere to the left.

“Yes. It seems so,” said Odin “It was a remarkable bit of work. It’s a shame I did not get to watch with the rest of you.”

“All down to Sigyn,” Loki muttered.

“Really? Hmm… interesting,” said Odin. That made Loki frown. Did Odin not see her leading the project? Surely his gaze could see beyond Asgard.

“Did you see her?” Loki asked, hating himself for asking, but he needed to know. “Did you see her defeat Malekith?”

Odin did not answer straight away. Instead he started walking again, coming around from behind the bed and into Loki’s eye line. He looked at his hands, fingers entwined between his knees, rather than look at the former king.

“I saw parts of it. My gaze could not travel very far too often but there were flashes. I saw her lead a battle. She lost, but she was brave.”

“She’s always been brave,” said Loki.

“It was the first time I saw more of her mother in her. She was always more like Njordr.”

“She’s nothing like either of those bitter, cold hearted bastards!”

Odin chuckled,

“After so long you’re still so enamoured with her -perhaps more now than ever before.”

Loki’s head snapped up, wanting to spit something at him, but Odin cut across him,

“Come now Loki, do you really think I had no idea? True, I did not know the extent of your relationship, but I knew from the start you were enamoured with her.”

“And yet you still tried to force Thor on her.” Loki hid a wince at his word choice, because he was angry and resentful, but he could not say such a thing without remembering what Yggdrasil had done to Sigyn. Odin regarded him for a long moment.

“It was useful to Asgard to keep Vanaheim guessing what I would do. And in truth I was not sure what would be better, long term, to marry Thor or you to her.”

“And to hell with what any of us actually felt. It was all about politics and breeding. They should call you All-Breeder, not All-Father.”

“You’ve been king long enough now to know that personal feelings are not more important than the welfare of the state.”

“Maybe they should be,” snapped Loki. “Maybe if you’d given a damn about feelings, then Asgard might actually be deserving of its claims to be the greatest realm of all. What’s the point of a realm being mighty if most of the people are living miserable lives?”

“The safety of the realm must come first.”

“And it was the same for me as it was for you! None of the things that happened to Asgard started with me. They were all your birds coming home to roost, and I had to deal with it! If you had not let Tyr and his cronies think they were better than everyone else, he would never have thought it was his right to kill innocent people to claim the throne from me.”

“And yet you thought you had the right to undermine your brother’s claim by encouraging him to act like a child.”

“He didn’t exactly need much pushing. If you had bothered to actually think about that-”

“I knew Thor was not ready! Of course I knew, but my plan was always to give him the throne while I and your mother, and even you, were around to support and teach him.”

“Brilliant plan!” Loki barked, “Absolutely genius, give the overgrown man child absolute power and then try to get him to see that perhaps listening to his sycophants who always tell him what he wants to hear is not the best thing for a king to do.”

“You give too little credit to your brother, blinded by your own resentment.”

“My resentment-” Loki reared up but Odin cut across him.

“Yes, you resented him so much you let that blind you to all the strengths he has. You let your dislike of Thor’s friends colour how you saw him. If he was such a failure of a man I would have done what was needed to undo that -but I knew that who he is at his core is right and just, he needed the responsibilities to scrape away his spoiled tendencies.”

“He would have pushed them on to me!”

“And you could have refused to do it.”

“And face your disappointment for not being a good little foundling?”

“For goodness’ sake Loki!” Odin snapped, “I am not your enemy, and I am not some heartless monster. I am your father.”

“Then you should have acted like one. I am not going to be grateful that you did not leave me to die in the cold. Regardless of whether I was wanted by Laufey or not, it is not a remarkable thing to save a newborn from death. That is a basic action of decency. After that, all you did was set me up to fail, lie to me, steal my children and shaming me over their origins. I am a father, and I can tell you that is not what a father does!”

Odin flinched, but did not look away, only shifted on his feet, which were still bare. It was very distracting having this argument with the great All-Father while he was in his pyjamas.

“Loki,” Odin started, but at that moment the door opened and Frigga returned with Thor. Loki turned in relief and surprise. His mother must have moved ridiculously fast to be here so quick. No doubt she had been afraid to leave Odin and Loki alone for too long.

“Loki!” Thor embraced him first, which seemed a pointed action that Loki was stupidly grateful for. Thor gave him a squeeze, and yes, he was very much Asgardian again, and then knelt before Odin. “Father. I am so glad you have awoken.”

“Arise Thor. I have been watching you and I am glad to see you have grown into a man I can be proud of,” said Odin, smiling warmly. Loki scoffed loudly. Not five minutes and Odin was already showering Thor with praise. Frigga gave Loki a sharp look but said nothing as Thor got to his feet.

“Thank you Father. I hope you have said the same of Loki, as he has done more than I in the same time.”

Loki’s eyebrow twitched irritably, and when Odin said,

“I am indeed proud.” he could not contain himself.

“Alright that’s enough of that!”

Thor turned, and looking at the three of them before him, Loki wondered how he could ever have deluded himself into thinking he was a part of this family.

“I don’t lie Loki,” said Thor earnestly.

“I don’t care,” said Loki. “We’re not here to pretend we’re a family of constant support, we’re here to sort out this kingship nonsense once and for all.”

“So Mother has told me,” said Thor, turning back to Odin. “She says you think Loki would make the better king.”

“Yes, as a matter of continuity-” Odin started, but Thor cut across him,

“I agree, Loki is the better choice. He always was.”

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?” Loki roared, making them all jump. “I am done! I am done being king, I will not do it and to hell with continuity! Odin, you made your choice, and you made your bed there. Now bed down with it. You don’t get to pretend that you’ve had a change of heart now. All this is is a way of saving face, to act as if this was your plan all along. That you always reared us both to be kings when you did not. You do not get to pretend you were as clever as that! And you!” He rounded on Thor, “You don’t get to shirk your responsibilities and birthright just because you’ve suddenly realised being king is not as grand and lovely as you deluded yourself for your whole life. No! I am done carrying this family’s secrets and I am done letting you all keep your perfect facsimiles for the people while I do the actual work. Thor! Pick up that staff and do what you were trained to do for once!”

Frigga hid her face in her hands. Odin’s whole body expanded with the weight of his sigh. Thor just looked alarmed. Loki was teetering on a knife edge, unsure what way he was about to fall. Thor’s throat bobbed, and he held his hands out from his sides,

“Loki, I don’t mean to make you do any of that. I promise brother. Please, calm down. I am not here to force you to be king.”

Loki narrowed his eyes, but before he could snap Thor said,

“I swear brother, I am here for us to come to an accord, but I’m not going to start by lying about the truth. You have proven yourself more than I. That is a fact, but that does not mean I intend to leave the duty to you.”

Loki did not believe him, but Thor was still the earnest oaf he had always been. His anger and fear strangled his voice and he settled for glaring.

“I assume that means you have a suggestion,” said Odin, sitting down on the edge of the bed with Frigga.

“I… not exactly. I am hoping we can work something out together,” said Thor lamely. Loki snorted and turned away, wiping at his lips.

“I am Loki, I swear it,” said Thor, “Father, I understand you want Asgard to be stable and safe, I understand why you are pushing Loki to continue on, but it is cruel to do so when he does not want it, and has never coveted it.”

There was a beat where they were all silent. Thor cleared his throat,

“On Midgard, they have many tales of people who are the best for ruling are the ones who do not want it. I can see the appeal. Power is heady and corrupts easily, yet I have never agreed with this morality tale. It is unreasonable to assume that just because someone does not want the duty, they are more suitable than anyone who does. If only that by not seeking power these characters must rely on some innate skill that is not gained through study or reason, but by something seemingly just handed to them by fate.

“Loki and I were both raised and tutored for ruling. I admit I was not a very good student when it came to political theory, but I am ready to remedy this.”

Loki turned slowly to look at Thor who was looking at him, not their parents. Thor smiled weakly.

“I know I am terribly late, but I understand now that this is a burden and one you should not have to bear alone. I want to help you, but I don’t think I am yet ready to do it. Yet it occurs to me that we have always been at our best, or at least I see it now, when we worked together.”

Loki swallowed, aware of his own heartbeat in his ears.

“Perhaps we can find a middle way between us,” said Thor, “Maybe you remain as king for now, to keep the people calm, but I will work with you to shoulder the responsibility. I will sit through boring meetings about taxes, and food supplies, and whatever else you need me to, so you can spend time with your sons, with Sigyn, and just… have the freedom to be happy.”

“That’s a very nice thought, but what will stop you from just not bothering when you get bored?” asked Loki.

“On my honour will I do this,” said Thor with a familiar rumble in his chest. “We will work together to find a balance between us.”

“And what will you tell the people?” asked Odin.

“That I am back, but I must be given time to catch up, and that will ease my return. Perhaps Loki can name me as his heir, and one day in the future he can step down and I can take up the throne. Let us begin as we are, Loki you are unquestionably my superior in things now, but I must prove myself your equal. Perhaps one day you and I could be kings together -is that not how Skadi and Njordr ruled? As a diarchy,”

“Not the best example you could have picked,” Loki muttered but something in his chest was relaxing.

“Regardless,” said Thor stubbornly, “Maybe that’s what Asgard needs, what it has always needed. You’ve told me how too many people that you connect with have been neglected by the crown. I clearly favour father in my manner, and in these changing times, maybe I can represent those who have been knocked down. Tyr can’t be the only person who resents the changes you’ve made. If both sides feel they have a voice in the highest place, and if we can find a way to keep the balance, we could make Asgard better than it ever has been.”

Looking buoyed by his own optimism, Thor looked from Loki to Odin and back, clearly waiting to hear they agreed with him.

“I think this could be the best solution for everyone,” said Frigga. She seemed moved and proud, taking Odin’s hand and looking to him. “Odin? What do you think?”

Odin was silent, regarding Thor for a long time, until Thor’s eager expression started to wilt.

“It may be difficult,” he said finally, “Asgard has always prided itself on the strength of its king. A split throne could cause divisions in the wider realm.

“That’s not a no,” said Thor, grinning.

“I am not the current king, it is not up to me,” said Odin, and they all turned their eyes to Loki.

Loki had wrapped his arms around himself, looking at the floor, as Thor had spoken. His mind was buzzing, unclear and he was stuck on one thought that would not let him go. Thor walked over to him,

“I know this is not what you wanted, brother. But I promise you I will help you ease your burden, and I will stand at your side, for the rest of our lives.”

He held out his arm,

“Let us see what heights we can bring Asgard to together.”

Loki blinked and focused on the outstretched arm. It would be so easy to just take it…

“Are you… are you sure you would share your birthright with me?” he asked slowly, a tremor spreading through his body.

“Of course, there’s no one else I would do this with Brother.”

“Are you sure you would do this… when I am not really your brother?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... yeah, that last line caught me off guard as much as I hope it did you. Didn't expect Loki to start down that road yet... if ever. 
> 
> ... whoops.


	5. The Final Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is confronted with the final secret in his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... been a while. 
> 
> There's been a lot going on for everyone, myself included, and even before corona hit I've been very busy with life. I was also trying to work up a backlog of chapters so I could be a better writer for all my readers. 
> 
> I hope that you enjoy this chapter and it was worth the wait!

Thor’s smile slipped as he stared at Loki, hand still outstretched. Loki’s face had become grey and his eyes were wide, whites bright and huge. He looked utterly horrified, and that expression kept Thor from laughing and dismissing the comment out of hand.

“What are you talking about? Of course you’re my brother! How could you not be?”

Loki’s lips thinned to a line and his eyes jumped to Frigga and Odin behind Thor, then back to Thor’s face.

“I… I learned something when you were banished-”

“Loki, this is not the time,” said Frigga breathlessly.

“When then?” Loki demanded, stepping around Thor and striding up to their parents. “When is the time? Are we to go back to the way things were as if nothing has changed? Like we did before when my life was an inconvenience to you and your delusions of a happy family? Are we to once again have secrets between the three of us and leave Thor on the outside? It didn’t work out for us then, what makes you think it would work this time?”

“I don’t mean you never speak about this ever again, but give us all time to adjust to being together,” said Frigga, reaching out for him. Loki snarled, tossing his head like an enraged horse,

“You’re doing what you always do! Every time we might have a fight you try to smooth it over, but all you do is cover everything up! ‘Hold your peace, Loki, everything will be alright!’ ‘Your father has a reason for everything he does’ -so what if he does? That doesn’t make him right! And you-!” he rounded on Odin, “You think I’m going to let your lies and pride take priority over my family? No! I let you steal my children from me and you forced me to act as if they had never existed, but I’m not going to do it again. I’m done with you two and your lies!”

“Loki!” Thor grabbed Loki’s shoulder and pulled him around, “What are you talking about? What more lies does this family have?”

Loki looked at Thor, wild eyed and looking close to foaming at the mouth.

“I’m not your brother! I never was! I’m not even Aes!”

“What? That’s ridiculous, of course you are.” Thor looked at his parents, looking for help, “This must be the Reset, it must have affected your mind. You should see Eir, shouldn’t he?”

“I am not mad!” Loki snapped, shoving Thor’s hand away. “You think you’re the only one to have grown and changed in the last years? No! I learned the truth of my origins and now it falls to me to tell you the truth before you hand over the crown to someone who does not have a claim on it!”

Thor looked from their parents to Loki, his stomach tightening at the sight of Loki’s expression. He stepped forward and threw his arms around Loki’s shoulders.

“You’re my brother. Nothing else matters to me,” he said, clinging to one of the few certainties he still had. 

Loki laughed bitterly in his ear, and Thor saw over Loki’s shoulder Frigga gasp and bring her hands to her face, while Odin tensed and his hands clenched into fists, and at the same moment a chill crept into his skin through his hoodie. 

“Not even if I was the son of your great enemy? Not even if I’m part of the race you vowed to slay?” Loki asked softly.

Confused, Thor tightened his grip on Loki for a moment, wondering where the chill was coming from, then Loki’s words registered in his mind. His eyes widened, and he swallowed against a dry mouth.

“Thor? Aren’t you going to look at me?” asked Loki, sickly sweet.

“You’re my brother Loki,” said Thor.

“Are you sure?”

Thor’s throat closed and he could not summon anymore words, only tightened his arms around Loki even more. If he could hold on tight enough, everything would stay sensible. Because what was happening was impossible. It could not be. Loki shifted in his grip, then tried to pull away.

“Let me go Thor.”

“Loki stop this,” said Frigga, “This is not the way-”

“He is the reason I know!” Loki shouted, making Thor wince from his proximity, “If he hadn’t been so stupid and prideful I’d never have gone back to Jötunheim and discovered what I am. He should know what he did!”

The cold was getting sharper, biting into his flesh and making him shiver. He did not want to let go and look into Loki’s face. He had already gone through the shock of learning his brother was not what he thought once before with his secret marriage, he could not face the same thing again.

“It doesn’t change who you are Loki! I thought we settled that,” said Frigga.

“I will not go back to the life you tried to break me into,” Loki spat, tense and shaking in Thor’s hold, but no longer fighting to get loose. “You want me on the throne, you want me to act like we were ever a united family, you want me to lie to the only person in this damn family who did not lie to me because he was kept in the dark -no! I will not do it. I will not abide by your playbook, not anymore.”

“We’re not saying that,” said Frigga, “We only wish to make it easier, to ease this in.”

“There is no easing this in!” Loki snapped. “Thor let me go!”

“No!” said Thor, knowing he was only putting off the inevitable. He was afraid, afraid to look on the face he could **_feel_** was changed, in case he could not bear to look upon it. What would they do if he could not stand the sight of Loki? Where would all his promises of fraternity and sharing power go if he could not even meet Loki’s eyes?

“Let me go, or I swear I will make you,” Loki threatened, his voice low and dark. Thor’s breathing hitched and he squeezed his eyes shut, slowly loosening his arms. Loki stepped back, but Thor kept his eyes closed, refusing to look at his brother. It just couldn’t be, he couldn’t have come home only to have everything he thought he knew about his family ripped away.

“Look at me,” said Loki.

“Loki this isn’t the way,” said Odin.

“What do you know of it? You’ve been asleep since you told me your version of the truth, highly convenient for you I might add. Thor, look at me!”

Frigga’s hands rested on Thor’s upper arms, squeezing them reassuringly,

“Loki, your brother needs time, he needs to rest,” she said.

“This is between me and him, you don’t get to be involved,” said Loki and his voice was so harsh that it shocked Thor into opening his eyes. Loki had never spoken like that to their mother and he sounded so dangerous Thor could not stop himself from taking a defencive stance between him and Frigga. He had not even registered what he was seeing when he did it, but he knew Loki had misinterpreted the action because he smiled bitterly with his dark blue lips. Dark blue lips in a lighter blue face, set with red eyes. The face of nightmares and monster tales.

Thor stared, appalled, at his brother who looked so like the Jötun he had seen before, and yet was also familiar in his features. That almost made it worse.

“You’re…”

“Laufeyson,” said Loki, still with that twisted smile, as if this was all going exactly as he had expected. “First born of Laufey King and his wife, Bergdís of Vanaheim. Loki is not even the name I was born with.”

“I… how?” asked Thor, unable to look away, but also unable to conceal his horror.

“Ask your father, he is the one responsible.”

Thor turned to Odin, who sighed and looked old and tired.

“After the defeat of Laufey I went into the temple to retrieve the Casket and I found an abandoned baby.”

“Liar,” said Loki, “I was never abandoned, your soldiers slew the men guarding my mother and I, and Kvasir himself dealt the killing blow to Bergdís, on the orders of Vanaheim.”

Odin paused, swallowing hard before saying,

“I knew none of this, I came in to find the bodies-”

“Which would suggest I was not abandoned,” said Loki, “Did it make you feel better if you could pretend I was left in the cold to die, so you could tell yourself that you had done a kind thing, even as you plotted to mould me into a puppet king for Jötunheim? It’s why you stole my children from me, isn’t it? It only occurs to me now, but it would have been very messy for you if I had heirs, heirs to the Jötun throne, that you had had no say in. Children of another giant species no less. You must have seen all those plans of yours falling apart as you looked upon my children. So you did away with them, letting them live so you could use them against me-”

“Enough!” Odin barked, “I had no such thoughts. You continue to assume the worst of me, that everything I do is a scheme-”

“Because mother always said as much!” Loki shouted back. Thor looked to Frigga, who whirled between them, looking astonished, “Do not play innocent mother. What else does ‘your father has a reason for all he does’ mean other than scheme upon scheme upon scheme? You cannot tell me Father has a plan and intent and then look surprised when I figure it out, just because it’s inconvenient to your obsession with a pretty lie.”

“I only meant that your father has good intentions,”

“So what? Why does his intent matter more than my experience of his actions? Is any of the things you two have taught me anything more than an attempt to keep me under your control so I wouldn’t become a monster you feared I was?”

Thor looked from his brother who seemed to be losing more and more control of himself with every moment, to his parents who were looking almost defiant as they regarded Loki and argued back, the sheer noise of their voices bouncing off the walls and ringing in his ears. He winced and tried to block out the noise with his hands, his mind reeling as he tried to wrap his head around what was happening.

Loki was Jötun? Loki wasn’t his brother after all? Their parents had lied to them, had let them grow up believing the Jötun to be monsters, but Loki was one of them, and the Jötun he had met during the Reset preparations had seemed more like him than unlike. Everything he had believed in was wrong, and he could feel his mind crumbling without those foundations. Sparks flared around his clenched fists.

“Loki we are your family-” Frigga pleaded but Loki cut across her,

“So what? So what you’re my family? Why should that exempt you from repercussions of your actions? What does family matter to either of you? What does it even mean to you? You lying, selfish-”

“STOP IT!!” Thor roared above them all, and lightning erupted from within him. Striking the walls, the floor, the bed, lashing out at the other three people in the room, the power overwhelmed Thor’s emotions and condensed them into a ball of rage. “How many more lies does this family hold? How many things have you kept from me? Why won’t you tell me anything?”

Thor heard his mother shriek, and Odin yell, but his own heartbeat in his ears drowned it out.

“Thor stop!”

Something collided with Thor’s stomach, sending him crashing to the ground, disrupting the lightning and enraging him further. He grabbed at the object and hurled it to the side, slamming it down to the ground and smashing his fist down before his mind even recognised he was wrestling with someone. His fist crunched cartilage and bone, and a yowl erupted from the thing he was hitting. A thing that was cold and blue.

Jötun!

No! Not Jötun - ** _Loki_**!

Thor blinked against the lightning in his eyes and saw wide red eyes staring back at him. Loki’s nose was bleeding, and his blood was red, the same as Thor’s. He recoiled in horror as Odin grabbed the scruff of his neck and hauled him backwards, dropping him on the ground.

“Get control of yourself!” Odin barked, “Have you learned nothing?”

Loki laughed then groaned.

“Rich coming from you!”

Thor lay staring at the ceiling, gasping for air, his blood boiling and crackling still, but the lightning was arching lower and in shorter lines, retreating back into his skin.

“This has to stop,” said Odin, “Loki, you must-”

“I must nothing!” spat Loki, then he groaned again and Thor looked at him to see his hand cradling his cheek. He might have broken the bone under his eyes.

So much for getting his temper under control.

“What would you have me do Loki?” asked Odin, “I cannot turn back time, I cannot undo what has been done.”

Loki did not answer, his hands were glowing green and he grunted as there was a nasty crack of bone and cartilage resetting itself. When he was done he rose up and the blue of his skin bled away back to the paleness Thor knew so well. Thor rolled onto his side slowly, feeling dizzy as he pushed himself to his feet. He glanced around and felt ashamed of the damage he had caused. He had only been back for a few minutes and had managed to blast holes in the wall. His mother was sitting on the bed, face in her hands, her hair frizzy from the static. He looked back to Odin and Loki. Odin with his bare feet and unreadable expression, Loki wiping away the blood from his face and not looking at any of them. He seemed deflated, all the fight was gone out of him. Thor swallowed and stumbled past Odin,

“I’m sorry Loki, I didn’t mean -I didn’t hit you because of what you looked like,” he said. Loki huffed a black laugh, still wiping his face, and keeping his back to them all. “I mean it, I just… I just really wanted my return to go well, and it just seems like that every time I think I know the truth about my life, I’m wrong.” Thor stepped closer, reaching out tentatively and putting his arm around Loki’s shoulders. Loki did not throw him off but turned his face away. Thor swallowed against a tightened throat,

“I never knew these things Loki, and now I do, I don’t care. I didn’t care your sons were part Jötun, and I don’t care that you are either. We played together, we fought together -we are brothers no matter what blood we share.”

Slowly Loki turned to look at him, a deep crease between his brows and blood clinging to his lip.

“You said you would hunt all the monsters down and slay them.”

Thor nodded,

“I did, but I was wrong. I was a foolish boy and I don’t want to be anymore. I want to rule with you, because you are my brother and there is no one in the universe I would rather have at my side. And if you are not of Asgard originally… maybe that’s all to the good. We claim to rule the Nine Realms and yet who do we serve but ourselves?”

Loki’s mouth twitched, though it was impossible to tell whether it was a grimace or a laugh. Thor rested his hand on Loki’s neck and gently thumbed away the blood on Loki’s lip with the other.

“You are my brother, and you deserve to rule in my stead, but I know you don’t want to, so let us share the burden and make Asgard live up to the ideals we were fed by our parents.”

“Or we could find better ideals to live up to,” said Loki softly. Thor chuckled,

“Why not? We can figure it out as we go. Deal?” 

Loki’s eyes moved slowly over Thor’s face, then he nodded,

“Fine.”

Thor grinned and tugged Loki into a hug, not pinning his arms as he had learned Loki did not like that, but still squeezing him until his ribs creaked. He wanted to be sure that every bit of Loki knew he loved him as he was, Jötun, schemer, secretive, clever, passionate, paternal, anxious, excitable.

“Alright, enough,” said Loki quietly, slapping his back to make him let go. Thor gave one last squeeze before relenting. Loki had a relieved look on his face and seemed years younger. How much had the fear of Thor’s reaction weighed on his mind?

Thor made a vow to do better with the Jötun next time he met them -wait!

“Doesn’t this mean you have other brothers?” he asked, narrowing his eyes as he felt a twinge of jealousy.

“Half-brothers, yes,” said Loki with a roll of his eyes. “They don’t need to know anything about it.”

“Huh…” Thor tried to picture his brother growing up as the eldest of the trio and found it was utterly impossible. “I think the younger one has taken a fancy to Sigyn.”

Loki pulled a face but before he could speak, the door opened and a man walked in. Thor did not recognise him, but something about him made him instantly nervous.

“Mýrkjartan,” said Loki faintly.

“Apologies for intruding so brazenly your Majesty, but I felt you should know that there is a fair amount of rumbling going on outside.”

“Meaning?”

“Sverrir is gathering his allies. Though he has not taken up arms, I believe he is expecting a fight and wants those who agree with him to be ready.”

Loki sighed, muttering,

“Sverrir, you idiot.”

“He may have some justification, word has got out that Odin is awake and there are people gathering outside the palace, many of whom would have sided with Tyr and his ilk.”

“Wonderful,” said Loki, turning a nasty eye to Odin. “Looks like your cretins have come back looking to kiss up to you and get their power back.”

“I’m sure you will handle them as they are due,” said Odin. Loki snorted,

“Coward.”

Thor couldn’t keep from looking shocked at his brother. Despite everything else, it seemed almost blasphemous to speak to Odin that way. Loki, however, was using his seiðr to return Gungnir to his hand, and turning to Thor.

“Well brother, it would seem we must deal with some tensions between the old and new guard. What do you think we should do?”

“Um… gather them together and try to find a compromise?”

“I would advise against such a thing your majesty,” said Mýrkjartan, his eyes on the floor but his face turned oddly towards Loki. “Having so many volatile people in one space is likely to lead to further infighting.”

“You ought to hear what those who are of an older generation have to say,” said Odin.

“If I want your opinion, I will ask for it,” said Loki with a withering look. Green and gold tendrils of seiðr shimmered over him, changing his more comfortable clothing for ceremonial armour and helm. He glanced at Thor, and a tingling sensation passed over Thor’s body as his own Earth clothing melted into red and silver armour, though he did not get his helmet back. Just as well, it was uncomfortable at the best of times. “Come on brother, let’s get this over with.”

Thor glanced back at their parents who seemed diminished and old in a way he found deeply unsettling. Yet he knew he could not hesitate to follow Loki. His brother needed him more than their parents did right now. So he turned away from them and followed Loki and the odd man out of the room.

“We need to shut this down now,” said Loki. “Much as I would have liked to keep this quiet for a day or two so we could sort this out, we need to announce your return and our arrangement, such as it is.”

“How will we put it to the people?” asked Thor, letting Loki take the lead.

“We don’t want to say anything too specific, or give any details that we might find problematic later on. So we’ll simply say that you’re back and Odin is awake, but I am still king and that is how it is.”

“What if they ask us for more details?”

“We’ll remind them that they are not the rulers of this realm.”

Thor frowned, surprised at Loki’s contemptuous tone.

“… we are there to care for them, Loki.”

Loki whirled around,

“Don’t you dare try to lecture me on how to be a king! You’ve spent the past years on Midgard who can’t figure out how to manage their own companies, never mind their governments, while I have been stuck here being king!”

“I’m not trying to lecture, but… you’re angry and I don’t want this to go badly,” said Thor trying to sound reassuring instead of confrontational.

“If I may your majesty,” said Mýrkjartan, “Chief Jósalafar Sverrir is not rebelling against you, he’s frightened that the people you have protected and lifted up are about to be dragged down, but if you reassure him that that won’t happen, he will undoubtedly calm everything down quickly. It will be harder to control the people who are seeking Odin All-father’s restoration. They have a vested interest in your injury or demise.”

“Yes, you’re right Mýrkjartan,” said Loki, “Have Sverrir come to my study, alone.”

“Yes my king,” said Mýrkjartan, bowing and hurrying down the corridor.

“What are you going to say to him?” asked Thor.

“The truth.”

“But you won’t say that to the other side?”

Loki smirked,

“Now you’re starting to understand how this works. Come on brother.”


	6. The Watcher's Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki deals with a bunch of fools, and Heimdall has some wise words for his king.

Loki had a headache by the time they got to the King’s Study. He tossed Gungnir to its podium where it landed gracefully on its point and began to rotate slowly on the spot. Thor watched it for a moment, then looked at Loki.

“I didn’t know Gungnir was made of wood under the gold,” he said. Loki’s head throbbed and he pinched the bridge of his nose as he dropped into his chair behind his desk,

“Honestly did you pay attention in any class we had?”

“What do you want me to do while Sverrir is here?”

“Just stand at my side and say nothing. Sverrir will be looking to antagonise you.” The words were out of Loki’s mouth before he realised what he had said, but he knew they were true. Sverrir would see Thor as as much a threat as Odin, maybe more because Thor would be new and potentially easy for the old guard to manipulate. Loki was not as certain of his brother’s vulnerabilities, but his face still hurt from Thor breaking his cheekbone ten minutes ago, so he did not feel very charitable.

“Then surely I should do what I can to assuage his concerns, whatever they are.”

“The fact that you can’t guess at them is not a fact in your favour, so just be quiet and nod with me.”

It was obvious that Thor did not like this command and Loki watched his face go through several emotions in rapid succession. He felt himself tensing in anticipation of an outburst, but to his surprise Thor stepped up and stood to the right of the chair. Just in time for Mýrkjartan to walk back in with Sverrir. Loki was mildly disappointed that he wasn’t dragging the fool in by the ear. It seemed more appropriate. He gave Sverrir a second to see him sitting and Thor standing, then said,

“What do you think you’re doing Sverrir?”

Sverrir’s eyes jumped from Loki to Thor and back again three times before he drew himself up,

“I have not done anything.”

“All right then, what were you going to do?” Loki asked, folding his arms across his chest.

“Nothing!”

Mýrkjartan shifted his stance, which was as close to a sarcastic scoff as Loki had ever seen him do. He wondered if Heimdall and Mýrkjartan had been exchanging notes on how to be inscrutable. Sverrir must have noticed this small motion too, because he huffed and said,

“I hadn’t done anything other than call a few people to me.”

“For what purpose?”

“To prepare.”

“Prepare for what?”

Sverrir’s fists clenched and unclenched, and he threw Thor a dark look. Loki snapped his fingers,

“Don’t look at him, look at me!”

His angry tone seemed to knock Sverrir’s petulant defiance a little because he looked back to Loki with something a little more open.

“You said you would get Odin to swear to leave your changes in place, but I doubted whether he could be trusted to keep his word. I was going to wait until you came out before doing anything, but then I saw that he was back!” he pointed at Thor but did not take his eyes from Loki’s, “And I thought Odin was not just taking the throne back, he was bringing his asinine son back to undo everything we have built!”

A rumble echoed in Thor’s chest and he tensed but he did not speak. Loki sighed,

“That wasn’t Odin, it was my mother. Odin was the only one who could make Thor Aesir again and she wanted the family back together. Or at least in the same room and conscious.”

“Does that matter?” asked Sverrir, “My Lady the King’s Mother might be wiser than most but she’s still-”

Loki held up a hand to silence Sverrir,

“Much as I am inclined to go along with the listing of my family’s many faults, that’s not going to get us very far right now. What exactly were you planning to do when you gathered all the people together?”

Sverrir shifted on his feet, he seemed to be uncomfortably aware of the fact that Loki was keeping him very much at a formal distance. In truth if Thor had not been there Loki might have simply smacked Sverrir for his idiocy and then left it at that.

“Honestly? I don’t know. That’s why I was getting our most loyal people together, to prepare for the worst.”

“Asgard’s most loyal people, or mine?”

“Is there a difference in this case?” Sverrir demanded, “People who believe in the Asgard you have built! The Asgard that doesn’t let magic users be mistreated, that protects the vulnerable, the one that actually has a hope of living up to its ideals.”

“You still started gathering people in a very open manner just as rumours were beginning to spread about Odin’s awakening.”

“I wanted to protect people!”

“By making everyone think there may be civil unrest as two, or three, kings battle for power? Your actions will only have made tensions worse!”

“I won’t let them ruin what we’ve built!” Sverrir shouted, “I won’t let them make the first move, because you know they’re already flocking to the door to demand their old power back!”

“Yes, I know,” said Loki wearily. “But lucky for you I cannot seem to unburden myself of this stupid throne.”

“You -wait really?”

Loki gave a vague wave of his hand, indicating his position and Thor’s.

“Odin didn’t want the throne back, and Thor’s decided he’s not much interested either.”

Thor shifted on his feet but Loki slid his foot to the side and pressed down hard on Thor’s toes.

“He… Odin didn’t take the kingship back?” Sverrir asked, sounding dazed.

“No, he’d decided he’s too old and he’d like to retire. What exactly we’ll do with him I have no idea yet, but I shall figure it out I’m sure.” Loki fixed Sverrir with a levelled, heavy look, “So you see there was no need to gather people and get into a panic -Mýrkjartan!” he yelped when Sverrir’s knees seemed to buckle under him and he sank to the ground. Mýrkjartan caught him by the elbow and hoisted him back up. Sverrir let out a gasp, as if he had not breathed in too long. Loki arched an eyebrow at the sight, then indicated to Mýrkjartan to spill Sverrir into the nearby chair.

“Take my brother to the balcony and show him the new structures Mýrkjartan,” he ordered. He knew both men baulked slightly at this, Thor because he was being removed from the situation, Mýrkjartan because he was being ordered to actually have a conversation, but they both went. There were still some perks to being king. Loki strode around the desk and stood looming over Sverrir who was gasping for air like a fish and had his head between his knees.

“So, do you want to tell me what this is really about?” he asked quietly.

“It’s exactly what I said,” Sverrir mumbled, hands tugging at his hair. “I thought Odin was about to wreck everything.”

“What more?” asked Loki, his own voice sounding waspish to him.

“That was it,” said Sverrir, looking up at him with wide, streaming eyes. “I just… I couldn’t face the idea that everything would go back to how it was before.”

Loki narrowed his eyes, considering the possibilities that would make sense. He knew Sverrir was passionate about the people they had raised up, but this was infinitely more personal judging by that reaction. Sverrir’s family, his children and wife, they were not in any danger if things went backwards, were they?

Loki knew both Sverrir’s children had magical aptitude but in the capital that would not be seen as shameful the way it was in the lands beyond. His wife was a brilliant scientist who seemed to prefer to hide at all times from the world due to her chronic shyness.

Loki considered Ilmr for a moment, and found himself wondering if it was really shyness that made her so reticent. Was there something about Ilmr that Sverrir was afraid for if Odin or Thor were to change all the laws and practises back to what they were before?

Loki had never really spent time with Ilmr. She did not seem to like him much, and had kept her distance during the Royal Tour. The only thing Loki could remember was that she had seemed to be very disapproving of his relationship with Hlin. Well, he was sure most of the wives had not liked it, probably thinking she was too young, or too low born. Either way Loki had not cared at the time, and now he only hoped it never got back to Sigyn.

“There’s obviously more,” he said at last, and watched Sverrir twitch, trying to hide his anxiety, “But unless it endangers Asgard or it’s people, then I don’t particularly care. All the same, you were as rash and foolish as you have always considered Thor to be and you’ll be lucky if this does not come back on you some way I cannot protect you from!”

Sverrir dragged his hands over his face,

“I know, I’m sorry, I just… I panicked.”

“That is obvious,” said Loki coolly, “You’ve managed to inflame things, rather than calm them. So now what are we going to do about it?”

“We?”

“Yes we! This is your mess, you’ll clean it up.”

Sverrir wiped at his face, sniffing hard and squaring his shoulders,

“Well, I can go and reassure the others all is well.”

“And then what?” demanded Loki, glaring down at him. “What about the inflamed nobility that want Odin and Thor back?”

“Tell them to go and suck-”

“My king!”

Loki turned at the call. Thor and Mýrkjartan were both looking down into the grounds, and when Loki came up behind them, he could see what had their attention. A large crowd, not just nobles looking to wheedle power back, but people from the merchant class, ex-thralls, all the kinds of people who lived in the city, were gathering in front of the palace. Loki could see people pushing and shoving, already close to a brawl, even from his high vantage. 

“Oh wonderful, I take it this means that words has spread even further.”

“It would seem so my king,” said Mýrkjartan. Loki pinched the bridge of his nose.

“We need to calm tensions, to deflate this thing before we lose control. I just finished cleaning up from the last civil unrest, I’ll thank you all not to mess it up again.”

“What do we do?” asked Thor, already puffing up in anticipation of confrontation.

“Not whatever your first instinct is,” said Loki irritably. “We need to cut the legs out from under this.” He looked back at Sverrir, who was still looking shaken. “Get up and come with me! You too, Thor. Mýrkjartan, give us twenty minutes to get to the throne room and then let them all in.”

Mýrkjartan gave him a look that suggested he did not like this command, but he nodded and they all left the study.

“What are we doing?” asked Thor. “I thought we needed to keep them all apart, lest they start fighting amongst themselves.”

“Too late for that now,” said Loki, striding back to Odin’s chamber. He threw the door open and saw Odin and Frigga jump apart as if they were youths caught embracing. “Get yourself dressed,” he told Odin, “You’re coming with me to the throne room. You will do what I say and nothing more, do you understand?”

It still felt utterly brazen to talk to the Allfather like this, but he was past caring. He was tired from the Reset, the reuniting with Sigyn, the arrest of the Dark Elf war criminals, and now this. He just wanted to go to bed and sleep for a week.

“Let me,” said Frigga, and her seiðr shimmered around Odin, dressing him in his armour. It was a little intimidating to see Odin in it again, but Loki held onto the fact that he was king and Odin was not, not anymore.

“Come,” he said, turning away and leading them all to the throne room. The sound of growing unrest outside made his stomach turn, and he reached out a hand, summoning Mjölnir to his side. She flew right across Thor’s path and he started back, looking at the hammer in shock.

“Never realised how annoying that was,” he muttered. 

“Is that necessary?” asked Frigga quietly. Loki ignored her, striding past the gaping guards and ascending the steps to the throne, dropping down into it and setting Gungnir on its end, where it rotated slowly, Mjölnir down on the floor at his right foot.

“Sverrir, stand there on my right, not too close -yes, that will do. Mother, you and Odin stand in my old spot, yes together, like that. Thor, come and stand on my left, not that close to Gungnir, you need to act as if we were in conversation, not like you’re about to snatch it from me.”

None of them looked very certain as they moved where they were bid, Sverrir two steps down on his right, Odin and Frigga three steps down on his left, while Thor stood on the level with Loki, taking his helm off and tucking it under his arm and leaning forward.

“What is your plan Loki?” he asked nervously. Loki sat back in the throne and adopted a calm, almost casual, air.

“Simple. They want to kick up a fuss, we shall deny them entirely. This is all perfectly as we planned, and we are all happy to be together. Don’t worry, it’s easy to fake,” he added spitefully. Thor’s lips thinned, but before he could respond, the door to the throne room burst open and people poured into the room, all talking at once. Loki turned his head lazily to regard the crowd, as if his heart were not in his throat. Thor mimicked him, blinking innocently as the mass seemed to startle and then quiet to a rumble, splitting apart. The people naturally walked to the side of the person they were allying with, Odin’s followers on the left, Sverrir’s people on the right, and many others went straight down the middle towards himself.It was gratifying to see how many walked straight to him.

The placement of the Royal Family around the throne did exactly what Loki wanted. Whatever the people had imagined, it was not to see Loki on the throne, chatting to Thor while their parents looked on fondly, while Sverrir stood ready to work as if all was business as usual.

Mýrkjartan pushed his way through the crowd to get ahead of them, saying loudly,

“My king, your people have heard rumours and seek your wisdom!”

Loki had to repress a snort of derision, affecting a very mild expression of surprise and indignation.

“What madness is this? Today is not the day for petitions!” He straightened up and glared down at them all, and this seemed to remind even the most aggressively pro-Odin of the lot to recognise who sat on the throne. Already Sverrir was leading his supporters to kneel to him, as were the people who had come directly towards him. Slowly the rest also knelt to him, but at the front, two men and two women, remained standing. Sjofn Tyrswife, and her children, Thyra, Bergsveinn, and Tveggi.

“All-Father,” Sjofn said, her deep voice carrying through the hall, “You have returned to us, with your first born!”

Odin turned to look at her,

“Lady Sjofn,” he said quietly, “Do you no longer kneel to your king?”

Sjofn’s eyes widened slightly, and her cheeks darkened, but she and her children bent their knees to Loki, though they could not conceal the vicious rage in their eyes. Loki supposed he could not blame them. He had executed their husband and father. Tempted though he was to toy with the people, Loki wanted to go to bed, and put the longest day of his life behind him.

“I suppose you have all come to gawk at your Royal Family reunited,” he said, jumping to his feet and standing next to Thor. “Well, here we are!”

No one spoke. No one moved. Loki looked around from one side of the room to the other, a nasty smile spreading on his face. He knew how vicious he looked, and knew it might scare his allies, but they all needed a reminder of who was king. When he felt that the crowd were cowed enough, he straightened up.

“So! What exactly brings you all here besides gawking? Are you here hoping we would all be divided, that you could come here and take advantage of our disharmony and manipulate your way into more power?” He looked straight at Sjofn, who glared up at him. He was reminded of Sif, so long ago, glaring up at him when he refused to bring Thor home.

“My king no!” cried someone on Sverrir’s side and the room devolved into shouting again.

“Long live Odin All-Father!”

“Thor for King!”

“Jötun-scum!”

“King Loki for the throne!”

Thor looked to Loki in alarm, he had never seen the Great Hall full of angry people. Loki checked his nails, frowning when he noted the cuticles were looking rather ragged. He must have been picking at them without noticing for a while. He knew Thor was nervous and wanted the shouting to stop as fast as possible, but it worked better for Loki to let everyone get worked up. Finally, he snatched Gungnir up and slammed the point to the ground. It let out an earth-quaking boom and the floor trembled underfoot, nearly knocking several people to the ground.

“Enough,” he drawled, keeping his voice bored and contrasting with the force of Gungnir. “This is all very tiresome, so let’s get this out of the way. Odin is awake, Thor is back, I am still king and that won’t be changing any time soon. Go back to your lives and-”

“You don’t have the right to remain on the throne!” spat Tveggi, “You are the lowest prince. The throne belongs to Odin All-Father now he is returned to us.”

Loki raised his eyebrows,

“What say you Odin All-Father?” he asked, turning to look at Odin. Odin did not hesitate in replying,

“I say I intended my son to be king before I took to Odinsleep, and my son now sits on the throne.”

“The wrong son!” cried Tveggi, but his mother grabbed his arm and dragged him back.

“All-Father,” she said in a ‘be reasonable’ tone of voice, “You can see what happens around you even while in Odinsleep. Have you not borne witness to the cruelty of Loki? He murdered my husband, one of your oldest friends and gave leave for the Frost Giants to roam freely in this land, against your edicts!”

“One Jötun hiding in the lands is hardly all roaming freely,” said Mýrkjartan darkly. Loki could not suppress the faintest huff of amusement. Mýrkjartan had to be fit to kill Sjofn if he dared speak in public. 

“As I understand the law, treason is a crime punished by execution,” said Odin coolly. “If your husband had not turned on my family, he would be at your side.”

“He was loyal to you,” said Sjofn, “But he knew the truth of Loki’s heritage, he knew Loki has no claim to that throne.”

“Oh this again,” said Loki, feeling his temper spike but hiding it behind exaggerated boredom. He sat back down on the throne, spinning Gungnir on it’s point. Always it came back to his blood. What he was, not who he was.

Odin looked down at Sjofn, silent for a long time, and Loki wondered what he was thinking. Was he changing his mind, after everything that had just happened? Thor moved to stand closer to Loki, folding his arms across his chest and glaring down at everyone.

“Loki is my son,” said Odin, his voice so stern it was daring anyone to contradict him. “He has as much a claim to the throne as Thor, and I have always had the same faith in my sons, different though they may be.”

Sjofn’s lips pinched as if she had tasted bile,

“Thor is your first born.”

“And Asgard has never had a law that compels a king to give only his first born the throne. It has been the convention, but never the law.”

Thor and Loki caught each other’s eye, both trying to hide their surprise. It was not that Loki had not known this, but it was not the angle he had expected Odin to take. It had seemed utterly irrelevant in the context of how Loki had come to the throne. Had that been how he had been planning to justify his decision when he had said that he would not take the kingship back?

“Odin, please,” said Sjofn. “He is destroying all that Asgard stands for. He is turning it into a land of ergi practises and lawless rule.” She glanced at the crowd near Sverrir, many of whom had been made out-laws under Odin. They looked anxious, angry and ready to fight. “The kind of scum he has allowed in this palace…”

Mýrkjartan grabbed one man who started forward, shoving him back and giving him a look that dared him to try again. Loki crossed his legs, saying loudly,

“I suppose it depends on what you would call scum, doesn’t it Sjofn? You label those who do not seek to spread Asgard’s might and power like a virus, killing anyone who gets in the way, as scum. Personally I would label people who beat their children for having magic, who see one sex as less than Aesir than the other, who swear loyalty to their spouse and take mistresses on the side, as scum.”

Sjofn's cheeks coloured bright pink. She knew Loki meant her husband, who had had mistresses for most of their lives, including Loki’s biological grandmother, though he did not like to think about that too hard. Gullveig had gotten her claws into too much of his life as it was. Also, the idea of her and Tyr was enough to make him nauseous.

“You will bring us all to ruin, Loki,” she said quietly, “You will be Asgard’s downfall. It was rumoured long ago that the great serpent and giant wolf would be the ones, but you are the monster they sprang from.”

Loki started to stand, but Thor moved first,

“You will hold your tongue! How dare you speak so of my nephews and my brother-king!” he roared, heading down the steps, only for Odin and Frigga to grab his arm. Thor glanced at their parents, then back down at Sjofn, “If you hate my brother’s rule so much, then leave, otherwise you will respect his kingship as you would Odin’s, for he has more than proven his worth a hundred fold.”

Loki would have been dead inside to not enjoy hearing that.

“Loki has sworn the oath of kingship, fully and wholly. He is bound to Asgard as its king, you would try to make him go against that oath?” said Frigga, her voice cold. “You were there Sjofn, you joined us in the celebrations, with our allies from the other Nine. The oath is binding.”

“It can be broken,” said Sjofn.

“There is no need. I have stepped down and Thor must reintegrate back into Asgard’s society. Like it or not, Loki is king, and you would do well to reaffirm your allegiance to him. It would not do to let it be implied that you are disloyal,” said Odin.

Sjofn and the people at her side looked uneasy, while the people on Sverrir’s side tensed up. Loki could see fists clenching and hands going to sword hilts on both sides. He knew it was time to end the show.

“Well! This has been fun,” he said, rising once more, “But we are done here I think. Nothing has changed from yesterday, you can all go back to your homes and rest easy on that. Or don’t, it’s up to you,” he added with a smirk at Tyr’s wife and children. “An official announcement will be sent out in the coming days. In the meantime, it’s been too long since my family were all together, so if you’ll excuse us, we are going to enjoy some much needed family time.” He picked up Mjölnir, grabbed Gungnir, and swept from the room, knowing his family was following while Sverrir and Mýrkjartan were ushering the crowd out of the Throne Room. As soon as they were out of earshot he tossed Gungnir and Mjölnir away, sending them to his study with a swipe of his hand, quickly followed by his helm and armour. He yawned hugely, turning to Thor.

“So, you’ll need catching up on some of that.”

“I gathered,” said Thor, looking exhausted. “It would seem my return has caused you more problems than fixed.”

Loki sighed,

“I don’t blame you… much.” He decidedly did not look at Frigga or Odin, but the message was clear. He was so tired he just wanted to go to bed.

“Loki…” Frigga said, reaching out to him, but when he twitched, she drew back and clasped her hands in front of her. Silence stretched between them all, and despite being together after five years, Loki felt utterly cut off from both Frigga and Odin. He had thought he would be able to come to terms with them, find some way of making the past stop hurting him. Somehow he had managed to get so far when it had just been him and Frigga, but seeing Odin awake, it all came flooding back and he felt as if he had been thrown back to that first night after Odin had fallen into the sleep. He was still that angry man, but now his anger was concentrated. He no longer hated Laufey, or the people of Jötunheim, though he could not say he had any love for them either. He was… somewhat able to cope with the fact that he was part Frost Giant. After all his sons were part Frost and part Storm Giant, and he could never hate any part of them.

No, his anger was focused entirely on his parents and their actions against him. The theft of his children, the refusal to accept his trauma, the lies about his adoption, the fact that he had been so afraid of them taking Sigyn away from him he had lost so much time they could have had as an open couple… no, he could not unpick that anger from his soul.

“This will not be able to stay secret forever, you do realise that?” he said. “Someday it will come out what you have done, and if you think it will not be me and my sons who suffer the consequences for your decisions, you are deluded. Because you did nothing to actively discourage the xenophobia of Asgard, because you decided it was to your advantage to let the people believe they were superior to all other peoples, and because you supported the fetishism of warrior culture where spilling frost giant blood is to be lauded, you have enabled a reality that if the truth of my blood and my sons’ blood was made known, they could rip us apart in the streets.”

“That won’t happen!” snapped Thor, “I would not let it.”

“You do the people a disservice,” said Odin, but Loki rounded on him,

“You were not here when Tyr decided to rise against me, based on nothing more than my blood and my commitment to protect people he considered beneath him. You did not see how many stood with him, and if that many would go so far, that just means there are countless more who held back. I may have purged as many people who have held up your system of cruelty as I can, but since I could not just get rid of them, they still walk free, just without the power they glutted themselves on under you!” Loki wanted to spit in Odin’s face, but he held back, just about. The rage was boiling under his skin, his face felt hot and he wanted to scourge Odin with his tongue, but Odin cut across him,

“You think you know all since you took the throne? You may have done well enough, but you are still a child in kingship, and you do not appreciate the things you will have to accept to ensure the realm’s safety. Sometimes the strength of the realm is more important than the happiness of the masses.”

“Keep telling yourself that, you-”

“Enough!” said Thor, stepping between them and turning to Loki. “Brother, today has been very long, and so much has happened. This argument is not going to be productive right now.”

“You’re taking his side, again!” snapped Loki.

“No, I swear I am not.” Thor grasped Loki’s upper arms, squeezing gently, “I am on your side. But this argument is not going to do anything but cause stress, and you’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime. Last night you pulled off the most amazing and complex magic the universe has probably ever seen, and you should celebrate that.”

“What does anyone care about that here?” asked Loki bitterly, “It’s all forgotten now you and Odin are back.”

“Then remind them! We are only here because of the Reset, because you woke father up and enabled him to restore my Aesir state. You have worked with our allies and enemies to pull off an incredible feat. Surely there was always going to be a celebration?”

Loki swallowed hard, his chin dipping in a small nod. He had set Ástrithr and others in his council to work with his mother to celebrate the success of the Reset, a thing that was meant to take place that night. He couldn’t imagine anything he’d like less now.

“Father and I will sit at your side, and I will make no secret how proud I am of you,” said Thor, one hand moving to rest against Loki’s neck. “Your successes deserve to be celebrated as mine were. This is your time, Loki. Don’t let us take that away from you.”

Loki gave him a bleak look, but he nodded, too tired to argue anymore.

“Your rooms are where you left them, I need to go get my sons from Midgard.”

The boys would be expected at the feast, so he could not avoid having them and Odin in the same room for even a day. The idea was enough to make him want to scream. He pushed Thor aside to lock eyes with Odin.

“You will not speak to my sons, or go near them, or I will have you banished from this realm, and I’ll make it more permanent than Thor’s.”

“Loki, there’s no need,” said Frigga, sounding appalled, but Odin nodded,

“You have my word.”

“For all it’s worth,” Loki sneered, turning and walking away before he could say more. He swiped his hands and stepped through a portal to appear at Heimdall’s side, letting out a sharp “FUCK!!” as the portal vanished.

“You know, before you became king, I was beginning to consider that my duties had become rather dull,” said Heimdall in as close to a conversational tone as Loki had ever heard.

“You’re not as funny as you think you are,” Loki replied, but the joke was enough to shake him out of his rage to recognise that he would need to be calm when collecting the boys. “I know your duty is to watch for enemies outside the realm, but I need you to turn your gaze inward.”

“I will watch Lady Sjofn and her children,” said Heimdall with a nod, his scars catching the lights of the observatory.

“I also need you to watch Odin, especially when he’s near my sons. I don’t want him spending any time near them.”

Heimdall did not agree, only stared ahead for a drawn out moment, then said quietly,

“Your sons will be safe. I watched over you and Thor, but I failed to ensure your safety. I will not make the same mistake again.” Their eyes met for a moment, and Loki swallowed against a dry mouth as he looked away. “Yet, may I say something you will not like?”

Loki sighed heavily, waving his hand in assent.

“There is no way for you to all live in the same palace without your sons encountering Odin. Your sons love their grandmother, and it would be unkind to them to separate them now, when they have found their sense of family somewhat… unsteady.”

“You mean I’m an unsteady father,” said Loki, deflating with exhaustion. How had today started so well?

“I mean their birth mother is dead, they know Sigyn is supposed to be a mother them and she is not, they love Hlin as a mother, they have come to like Thor as an uncle, their grandmother dotes on them but their father mistrusts her, which Jörmungandr will have noticed, and their father is unable to be as present as he or they would want. And now they will gain a grandfather who adds more complexity to their family.”

Loki turned his face away from Heimdall, squinting at the stars, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“So what do you suggest I do? I had hoped that when Odin woke I would be able to give them the time I wanted, but that has been stolen from me.” His hands curled into fists, “Odin again steals my children from me, only in a more subtle way! Damn him, I hate him!”

Heimdall was quiet, the only sound between them was Loki’s harsh breathing. Loki felt shaken, as the words had escaped his lips before he could think. Had he ever so directly confronted his feelings about Odin before? Had he ever spoken those words before? He did not think so, and now he said them, he did not want to take them back. It was all true. Odin had decided to take his children away from him before, unable to deal with the damage Angrboda had done to Loki, or the children it had given him. Odin and Frigga had prioritised their emotions over his, and had pretended that it was all done for his sake.

Liars, the both of them.

Now Odin had taken away the hope he had cradled in his chest that this life he had been living would end and he might finally be able to raise them himself. And Loki had gone along with it. The three of them, Odin, Frigga, Thor, they had all cornered him and given him no option. Not even telling Thor he was not Odinson by blood had done the trick.

“Perhaps it is not so bad as you think,” said Heimdall in a low voice.

“Oh, will you tell me that it’s all to the good? That it’s done with the best of intentions?” demanded Loki, whirling back to the Watcher.

“No, I think it was selfish on Odin’s part to do this.”

Loki blinked, gaping at Heimdall like a fish.

“Y-you do?”

“Yes. He may have logical reasoning on his side, I don’t deny it, but in the end, he still chose to leave the throne to you, when you do not want it, and for reasons I would say are understandable. He is old and tired, he does not want the stress of the duty anymore, but that does not mean it was a kind thing to give it to you.”

“…are you feeling alright?”

Heimdall’s lips pulled up in a chuckle,

“I am well, the Reset has affected me as much as the cosmos, and I feel rejuvenated. But that is not why I say this.”

“Then why are you saying it?”

“Because it is true, and also, to remind you of something.” Heimdall turned to him fully, giving Loki his full attention. “You are king now. So you get to decide what happens next for Asgard.”

“I just said-”

“So if you think it’s more proper for Thor to be king, you can make him so. Whatever anyone else may think or say, you can be a king maker, as well as a king.”

“Did I not just have to put down a revolt because of this possibility?”

“If you tried it now, Asgard would probably struggle among the factions. But Thor, for all your fears to the contrary, has learned in his time away. You may find he has ideas about ruling that would be even more revolutionary than yours. You will be his teacher in how to govern now, and it is up to you how far you push that partnership.”

Loki sighed,

“That still leaves me as the king.”

“For now but not forever. There is still an end you can reach for. When you marry Sigyn in full, that may be a good time to transition from you to Thor at the same time, so you can live with her on Vanaheim with your children.”

“… are you trying to get rid of me Heimdall?”

“Amazingly, no,” drawled Heimdall, “No, Loki, I think we are past that, don’t you?”

Loki huffed a laugh,

“Maybe so.”

“You are doing the right thing being king now. But you need not be king forever.”

Loki dearly hoped so.

“I still don’t want Odin near the boys,” he said, looking back to the stars as if he could see Midgard from this distance.

“You are the king, Odin is now your subject. He cannot overrule you for his own preferences anymore. So if you command he not be around them… there’s nothing he can do but obey.”

Loki groaned and covered his eyes with his palms,

“Don’t say that Heimdall,” he groaned, “That is not a thought I can deal with right now.”

Heimdall laughed again. Loki dropped his hands with a sigh,

“Mother will want them to meet.”

“It’s not up to her,” said Heimdall. Loki side-eyed him, still stunned he was having this conversation. Heimdall clapped him on the shoulder,

“Whatever misgivings I may have had about you Loki, you have proven to me that you are a worthy king. I do not fear for the realm’s safety under your reign. And however much you struggle to find the balance, you are a good father.”

“Just an unsteady one,” said Loki with a sigh of resignation.

“Perhaps all you’ve lacked has been a brother, and all the boys needed was an uncle who frees their father up to be with them.”

Loki huffed another laugh, looking down and swallowing against a lump in his throat.

“Thank you Heimdall.”

“You are welcome, my king.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd be able to sort more of Loki's feelings here, but ultimately the truth of the tale is that he's the best person to be king, but he also entitled to feel angry with everyone. 
> 
> He's... not gonna be over it very quickly I'm afraid.


	7. An Unexpected Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor tries to make peace with his brother (again) and something has changed with Fenrir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... lots of bad things are happening right now in the world, and I am very aware that my anxiety about it is not worth much considering I'm at home in a country where we're mostly just trying to figure out which phase of corona quarantine we're at now. I've been watching social media and reading information on what's happening and I worry about all the people who are vulnerable right now. It's all a lot, even in my tiny bubble, so I can only imagine it's overwhelming for a lot of you reading this. 
> 
> I hope that you're all as safe as you can be, whether you're out doing very necessary protesting, stuck in your homes because of corona, or doing your best to function and just get through the day. I hope my latest update might give a little pleasure to you all, in the madness we're all surrounded by. 
> 
> Stay Safe!

It felt odd to wake up after a great feast, and not be hungover. That was Thor’s decision as he blinked up at his bed canopy. Despite his joy at being home, he had avoided drinking copious amounts and had gone to bed barely tipsy. It had seemed the sensible option, considering the tensions he could feel between his family. Loki had been furious with all of them, but only they seemed to notice. Everyone else was celebrating the success of the Reset and had been oblivious to the fact that King Loki had put Former King Odin as far away from him and his sons as he could. Frigga had been allowed to choose her seat and she had elected to sit with Odin. The way Loki’s face had spasmed had scared Thor far more than seeing Loki turn blue.

What a mess.

For Thor’s part celebrating his return had not been as much fun as he had imagined. Plenty of people had welcomed him back with genuine delight, but it had all rung quite hollow. Even the food had not tasted as good as he had remembered it, a fact that had shaken him more than he wanted to look at right now.

Thor rolled out of bed and shuffled to the window, pulling the curtains back to look out at the city. From here he could see some of the changes that had occurred. Things were less golden, as if the gold leaf had been scrapped away. Yet Thor did not think it was diminished so much as… just different. There were new colours, stained glass catching the sunlight. He would need to walk around and explore the city, see what else had changed. Loki had said a lot of rebuilding was needed after Tyr’s revolt, but he had not imagined what that had meant.

The realisation that things would never be the same, and that that was a good thing, was settling into his mind and heart at last. Some spore that he had been clinging to was dying away. Now all he could do was move forward and find his place again, at Loki’s side, as a kind of co-king.

Loki.

Thor had wanted to do something to ease Loki’s heart during the feast. Jörmungandr and Fenrir had been at the feast only long enough for a few toasts and for Jörmungandr to have his dinner before Hlin swept them out. The whole time they were there Loki had not been able to take his eyes off Odin, watching him for any movement towards the boys. Luckily, Odin did not do anything but sit and talk with Frigga and a few of the old guard. Only when the boys were sent to bed did Loki somewhat relax, but despite his best attempts to look cheerful, Thor knew the reality. Loki was miserable.

The guilt Thor felt knowing he had had a hand in Loki’s unhappiness was gnawing at his guts. It had all seemed like a good idea, a just reward for Loki’s good works, a way to safeguard Loki’s reforms and to keep the people happy. As it was, Thor was certain that it was a necessary decision, but he could see that Loki had gone from angry to furious misery in the time he had taken to collect the boys.

Thor sighed while getting dressed. His wardrobe was exactly how he remembered it and that was rather disconcerting. His room was untouched save for cleaning, and yet he felt so far from the person who had slept here before. He tried to put it out of his mind as he went to the lift to bring him to Loki’s floor.

“What the-”

Loki’s rooms were unrecognisable! It was not just the decor, the layout itself had been altered. Thor gaped at the space, hesitant to even cross the threshold in case it was not real and he fell through the floor. It did not look like anything else in the whole palace, it was as if Loki had lifted an entire floor from some other building and replaced his old rooms with it.

“Either come in or go away Thor,” said Loki. Thor looked to the left. Loki was sprawled in a chair in the open window, legs propped up on the balcony, glaring out at the sky. Thor entered cautiously,

“You’ve… redecorated,” he said when he could not think of anything better. Loki snorted,

“My rooms were for a bachelor prince, not a family. The boys needed their own rooms.”

“Yes… still…” Thor looked around and decided pointing out that the rooms were quite Vanir in their style was probably not worth it right now. “I wanted to talk with you, alone.”

“What about?”

“This. The agreement we made yesterday.”

“Where I get stuck with the responsibility you should have taken up and thus lost my one chance at actually being happy?”

Thor winced. He doubted Loki had slept, he had probably stewed all night and was ready to kill someone.

“I… I would like us to find a way to make this work so that you aren’t stuck with all the responsibility, and maybe find some of that happiness you seek.”

“By all means, enlighten me.”

Thor grabbed a nearby chair and dragged it over. Loki tensed when he put himself close enough that they could easily bump knees if Loki dropped his feet.

“I know this is not what you wanted,” he said.

“What gave it away?”

Thor held back a sigh. He had to let Loki be angry, but not react. He could only control his own actions.

“You’re angry, I get it. You were expecting to be able to give up the kingship when father awoke, and that didn’t happen.”

“Yes, Thor, I was there.”

“But that doesn’t mean things can’t be better for you, for all of us. We didn’t have time to talk properly, but let’s make time now.”

Loki did not look at him, his eyes were fixed away somewhere in the sky, fingers curled against his mouth. Thor waited, trying to give Loki the space to speak. It was something he had learned in therapy, and had determined to try to use as much as possible. The time seemed to drag on, and Thor had to slide his tongue between his teeth to control his impulse to fill the silence. Finally, when he was sure he would not be able to hold back any longer, Loki spoke.

“You all spoiled what ought to have been a great day for me.”

That was not exactly what Thor had expected.

“Yesterday should have been a day I could revel in. The Reset had worked, I had been part of something that will never be repeated in history. Sigyn and I spent the night together for the first time since I was forced onto the throne-” His fingers dipped below his collar, rubbing at his skin and Thor saw the faintest colour of a love bite nearly healed. “-And Sigyn had just arrested all the Dark Elves who had committed war crimes against her people.”

“She did **_what!_**?”

“I was so proud of her,” sighed Loki as if he had not heard Thor. “I was so happy, I thought things had finally turned a corner and something might finally be good. And then I have no sooner put my foot on this cursed realm than I’m told Odin’s awake, and he doesn’t want to take the kingship back, and you are back and you don’t want it and you’re all so selfish and determined to pretend to righteousness that I am stuck with the role I never wanted, unable to even have a day to enjoy my own victories. You two just cannot help yourselves. No matter what happens, you two have to be sure I don’t get to have anything to myself without caveats. I cannot be free to be a father, and now I must endure the knowledge that Odin could happen upon them at any moment. And you-” He finally turned to look at Thor, “You think yourself so noble, offering to share the kingship with me, when we both know deep down this will just be the kind of kingship you always expected. You get to have the title and the glory and I must do the dirty work and fight the uprisings. As usual, you get the feast and I get the dirt.”

Thor winced at the poisonous tone in Loki’s voice, forcing himself not to argue but to listen. He could do this, he could be the better brother, he could let Loki feel heard. When Loki fell quiet and looked away again, Thor tried to speak gently,

“I didn’t do anything with intent to hurt you. I know that doesn’t make it better for you, but I promise you I did not. I thought I was doing what was right for Asgard.”

Loki did not reply, he did not even blink.

“I meant what I said Loki, I want to do my share, I don’t expect to enjoy the title and none of the responsibility.”

Still nothing. It was as if Loki had shut down now he had said his piece.

“I’m sorry about the timing too, even though I am glad beyond words to be home, we did steal your moment and I am sorry for that.” He did not repeat that the pain was unintentional, he knew that would do nothing but aggravate Loki further. “What can I do to make amends?”

No answer from Loki’s lips, no movement of eyes, nothing at all. It was starting to worry and annoy Thor. How could Loki expect things to get better if he did not even try to work with Thor? It was not Thor’s fault Odin had done this to them both. After all, Loki was not the only one who had had his expectations thrown about. Thor had just had his entire purpose of life taken away. Odin no longer saw him as worthy of the throne, and what was he on Asgard if he were not the king to be? On Midgard he had been a traveller, an Avenger, a hero of sorts. But not on Asgard. He had been the crown prince, what was he now?

“Uncle Thor?”

Thor jumped and looked around, smiling automatically as Jörmungandr shuffled towards them, rubbing his eyes, his dark hair sticking in every direction.

“Good morning Jör.”

Jörmungandr hummed in greeting, his eyes sliding to Loki who had not reacted.

“Papa?”

Loki turned his head to look at his son, but no emotion crossed over his face, nor did he say a word. Jörmungandr’s brow furrowed and he came closer, pulling himself up into Loki’s lap and putting his arms around Loki’s neck.

“Morning Papa,” he said clearly, looking straight into Loki’s eyes. Loki stared back, stony faced as his eyes flitted over his son’s face.

“Jörmungandr,” he murmured, cupping Jörmungandr’s cheek. “My boy.”

Jörmungandr’s frown deepened and he shifted on Loki’s lap, keeping his arms around Loki’s neck and resting his head on his chest, sighing softly and closing his eyes. Loki’s arms wrapped around Jörmungandr’s skinny frame and he buried his nose in Jörmungandr’s hair. Thor watched as Loki’s eyes brightened and tears leaked out onto his cheeks, silent but devastating as any wail to Thor’s heart. Swallowing against a tightened throat, Thor was torn between wanting to stay with his brother and talk further, and letting Loki enjoy his time with his son. He decided on the latter, rising up and walking across the room, taking his time to take in the changes. From the windows up here he could see so much more of the city, and get a real sense of the scale of the changes. Behind the city the mountains were half gone, from the Bifrost blast if he remembered Loki’s tale right.

Loki’s reign had literally moved mountains. Thor doubted he would find that funny right now.

“Good morning my king.”

Thor turned as Hlin came out of another room, still in her nightgown, carrying Fenrir in her arms. Thor’s eyebrows shot up, but he reminded himself that this was the boys’ nurse, and she must have her own room up here. Still it was a bit odd to see any woman in nightclothes around Loki. Hlin strode with purpose, a faint frown on her face as she looked down at the baby.

“My king, have you noticed anything odd about Fenrir?”

Loki was on his feet in an instant, Jörmungandr still held tight.

“What do you mean?” he asked with obvious fright. Thor came back to them as Hlin said,

“Nothing worrisome, but… his clothes seem a little smaller for him than I recall. I’ve never known them to be so before.”

“He’s probably just outgrowing them,” said Thor, confused as to why this was so mysterious, and even more baffled when the other three looked at him like he had two heads.

“Fenrir doesn’t grow,” said Jörmungandr, “Like me, he doesn’t grow.”

Thor frowned in bewilderment.

“Magical aftereffects,” said Loki shortly before looking at the baby snoozing in Hlin’s arms. He narrowed his eyes, “His hair looks… longer?”

Hlin hummed thoughtfully,

“He perhaps feels a bit heavier too.”

Loki and Hlin shared a look of understanding, then both headed for the door.

“Come on Thor,” Loki snapped. Thor trotted after them, confused and worried by the reactions of the other two adults. Was something wrong with Fenrir?

They ended up in the Healing Room, where Eir dropped everything to place Fenrir on the soul forge. Fenrir fussed but was quickly distracted by the colours shimmering around him.

“Hmm…” said Eir, her hands raised to examine the information.

“What?” demanded Loki, his arms tight around Jörmungandr. Thor shuffled closer to his brother to try to lend support.

“He has changed since his last scan, which I’ve never seen before with him.”

“Changed how?”

“His weight has gone up, he’s a few centimetres longer, he actually looks to have gone from the stage of a newborn to a week old baby.”

Loki moved next to Eir, looking up at the data in disbelief.

“If Fenrir’s growing, then I should be growing too!” said Jörmungandr loudly. Eir nodded,

“Let us see if you have my prince.”

They swapped the boys and Jörmungandr stared up at the swirling colours with a frown of concentration, as if he was trying to command the soul forge to do his bidding. Eir moved her hands again, but quickly lowered them,

“No change. You are the same as before Jörmungandr.”

Jörmungandr sat up,

“That’s not fair! Why is Fenrir growing and I’m not?”

“I do not know,” said Eir turning to Loki, “I thought perhaps it is the Reset. It woke Odin, so perhaps… but surely both boys would be growing in that case.”

Loki nodded, resting his hand on Jörmungandr’s skinny shoulder.

“It’s alright Jörmungandr,” he said. Jörmungandr tried to shrug his hand away and curl up.

“No it’s not,” he mumbled into his knees. “Thundi is way bigger than me now, he doesn’t want to play with me anymore.”

“That’s not true, he’s still your friend,” said Loki gently, “It takes more than that to end friendship.”

Thor was not sure Loki entirely believed this.

“My king, has anything unusual happened with Fenrir? Has he encountered anything that Jörmungandr has not?”

Loki turned to Hlin, who shook her head,

“Nothing has happened out of the ordinary, I would have told you.”

Loki made a soft noise of understanding, his frown deepening.

“What about when the woman did magic on him?” said Jörmungandr, sounding mulish. The adults all looked at him. Jörmungandr swung his legs over the edge of the forge and looked up at Loki.

“When we were with Uncle Thor, the queen woman, she did something with Fenrir, and it made him cry really badly.”

Thor’s brain kicked a memory to the forefront,

“That’s right! The magic connection that happened between Fenrir and Sigyn!”

Loki’s eyes widened,

“Of course! That… _ooh_.” His mouth dropped open and he looked down at Fenrir in his arms as if he had never seen him before. “Oh… Fenrir.” A soft smile spread across his lips, easing away the pinched tension that had been there since yesterday.

“What? What is it brother?” Thor moved around the the forge, automatically taking Jörmungandr in his arms as his nephew reached out to him. Loki looked glanced up briefly, then back down at Fenrir, smiling again.

“I think I know what happened.”

Eir glanced around and waved away the other healers who could overhear the conversation. Loki chuckled quietly, toying with Fenrir’s hand as he began to speak,

“Fenrir was not born the way Jörmungandr and Hela were. They were born of their mother, but Fenrir was born of me. I… I had to take their mother’s magic into me to gain control of it so Odin could get us out of her house. Fenrir was the result of that, but when he was born…”

Loki’s smile slipped and his expression spasmed. Jörmungandr tightened his grip on Thor’s neck.

“There was no way to get him out of me, but Sigyn, she came when I called her, she reached inside me with magic and pulled him out.”

Thor winced, horrified at the image he could see in his mind.

“I always wondered how you did it,” said Eir quietly.

“When Sigyn and Fenrir made contact, Fenrir’s seiðr was unstable. It connected with Sigyn’s, tying them together. That was the first time she held Fenrir in her arms. They did not come into contact like that until that day on Midgard.”

“I don’t understand how that affects him growing,” said Hlin quietly.

“When the boys were restored to me, they were reset in a fashion, but Fenrir may have been lacking a piece of his seiðr that enabled his body to function naturally. It held him in place the way he was when he was born, waiting for the time when the magic that brought him into the world found him again. He recognised Sigyn’s magic, and connected with it instinctively.”

“That closed the circuit in his system,” said Eir, eyes wide and with a gleam of fascination that reminded Thor of Jane. “It’s enabled him to start growing.”

Loki nodded, his smile wide and bright. He pressed a kiss to Fenrir’s hair and sighed with a relief that was deep and heavy.

“He will grow, he will crawl, walk and talk, he will finally be able to be more than an infant.”

The excitement in Loki’s voice buoyed Thor up and he beamed in delight,

“That is wonderful! I am glad I will be here to see all of that!”

“… what about me?”

Jörmungandr’s voice was tiny, but the anxiety was pronounced. Loki’s elation dimmed to something sadder as they looked at the older boy. Jörmungandr looked at Thor, looking close to tears.

“Will I ever grow up?”

Thor wanted to say ‘of course’, but he did not know why Jörmungandr was not growing, and did not want to give him false hope. Luckily Loki passed Fenrir to Hlin and took Jörmungandr, setting him on the soul forge and bending to be eye level with him.

“Jörmungandr, I don’t know why you don’t grow, but I promise you we will figure it out and we will fix it so you’ll grow up. I can’t promise you it will be simple, but we will make it happen. If it can happen to Fenrir, it can happen for you. I swear it.”

Jörmungandr nodded, flinging his arms around Loki’s neck and hugging tight. Loki responded in kind, straightening up and resting a hand on the back of Jörmungandr’s head. Thor felt a lump in his throat, wishing he could do something to help his nephew. Perhaps this could be a place to start his new role at Loki’s side, taking on tasks that would free Loki up to be able to to spend more time on this, and giving him time with his sons that he had been denied so far.

Yes, Thor decided, that was a good place to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jörmungandr, he can't catch a break.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and say hi or yell at me about my cliffhangers over on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/not-rude-ginger)!


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